College years- lams fanfic

Chapter 24

Trigger Warning- talks about self harm

The truth

John POV

Alex and Jefferson walk into class together, that's weird Alex hates him. As usual Washington walks into class about 5 minutes late. The class is pretty boring, I'm sitting at the back with Herc and Laf but Alex is sitting near the front next to Jefferson and they're occasionally talking, even smiling. This is ridiculous I shouldn't be jealous of Thomas Jefferson.

*Time skip to 2 weeks later- sorry it just works better if things go on over time if ya know what I mean*

We're now at the end of week 2 and Alex and Jefferson have become pretty good friends. Alex walks into the room we're I'm already just sitting on the couch. "Hey where have you been the last class of the day ended like an hour ago," I ask.

"Oh sorry I forgot to text you, I was with Thomas." He says. Part of me wants to get mad but that would just cause and argument for no reason.

"Oh ok, well Laf and Herc are out and the sister's went to there dad's for the weekend so we don't have to worry about anyone walking in on us or over hearing anything." I say getting up and walking over to him.

"Oh really?" He says with a smirk on his face. He walks to the door and locks it before walking back over to me.

He leans in and kisses me slowly and I melt into it. I slowly push him towards the wall while kissing him. I run my fingers though his hair and puts his hand around my neck. As I slowly kiss is neck I run one hand up is shirt, still playing with his hair with the other.

Alex pulls of my hoodie his lip barley parted from me for a second. "John" He moans softly and I giggle a little. I gently nibble down his neck and start to pull of his shirt. Once it's off I notice scares all up his arms and a few on his chest or stomach.

"Alex... W-what are those?" I ask shakily and he looks at his arms and gasps.

"They're nothing!" He says frantically putting a hoodie on not even realising it's mine.

"Alex how did that happen?" I say.

"I- I don't know they just appeared." He says trying to walk away.

"I know when you're lying" I say stopping him.

"I can't tell you, you'll hate me." He says trying to move past me but I don't let him.

"I could never hate you. You can tell me the truth I promise I won't get mad." I say and he sighs.

We sit on the couch and he grabs a pillow and holds it close. "W-when we were broken up I k-kind of started C-cuting my self with a razor and I've been doing It ever since." He manages to get out with tears threating to fall and I gasp.

"W-what? Why?" I ask with tears already running down my face.

"I h-hated myself for breaking up with you a-and I deserve it. I-I couldn't stand not being with you and seeing you mad at me." He says choking on tears.

"Lexi I'm so sorry! I should have been there for you! This is all my fault I'm so sorry!" I say.

"No it's not. I-I chose to do it. I used to do it in the Caribbean as well and I thought I wouldn't start again. I'm so sorry you should just leave me here now." he says turning away.

"No! I would never do that. I promised you I would never leave you and this time I'm gonna keep that promise. But please, for me, try to stop or talk to me when you feel like you need to do it again. I can't loose you Alex. You don't deserve any of this I'm so sorry." I say turning his head to face me.

"Thank you, I love you so much John." He says putting the pillow down and sitting in my lap to hug me.

"I love you too." I gently stroke his hair and he cries into my shoulder. I feel so bad for him, not In a pitiful way but in a way where I want to- I have to do anything I can to help him, to help him be happy and not drag around his past or his pain with him.

We sit there for a while just enjoying each other's company. Soon I hear a nock on the door. "Hey John or Alex are you there?" It's Lafayette and Hercules.

"Ok, I'm sorry you have to get up. Laf and Herc are at the door." I whisper.

"Okay, I'll just go wash my face in the bathroom." He says getting up.

"Alex don't-"

"I won't." He says and gives me a weak smile.

I stand up, put on a shirt and walk to unlock the door. "Hey what are ya doing?" I say opening the door.

"Why are you're eyes red?" Herc asks, fuck I forgot I was crying as well.

"Oh I was just watching the titanic." I lie and they nod and walk in. I swear we may as well all just live together.

"So where's Alex?" Herc asks sitting on the couch.

"Uh I don't know I think he's in the bathroom." I say and just as I was Alex walks out.

"Oh hey guys," He says, ignoring me like we said we would.

"Omg Alex is that a hickey?!" Laf yells "John you didn't even try to cover it up!" he laughs

"It's not a hickey and even if it was it wouldn't be from John." He says grumpily.

"I know what I hickey looks like I've given Herc plenty, if John didn't do it who did?" He shouts.

"Probably his new boyfriend, Jefferson." I say, angrily.

Herc and Laf gasp, "You're dating Jefferson?!" Herc says confused.

"No, I'm not John's just being over dramatic as usual," He glares at me.

"Wait it would make sense though. First he came up and kissed you and you've been hanging around him heaps and you seem to be laughing and smiling and stuff and now you have a hickey and it's not from John so you and Jefferson must be dating." Laf says.

"Alright fine I'm dating Jefferson, happy now?" Alex replies.

"Yes. We're gonna go get dinner do y'all want anything?" Herc asks getting up and heading towards the door with Laf, we both shake out heads and they walk out.

"John you know-" Alex starts but Laf bursts through the door again and we stare at him.

"That's Johns hoodie!" He yells.

"What?" I ask confused as to why he just nearly broke down our door.

"I knew there was something weird about what you were wearing Alex but I just got it, that's John's hoodie!" He says walking in.

"Um, that's not my hoodie." I say nervously, I had completely forgot he was wearing it.

"Yes it is, it has a turtle on it and it's huge on him," Laf continues.

"Yeah but it's not mine, I brought it for him when we were going out because everyone loves turtles and oversized hoodies," I lie.

"If John brought it for you why haven't you thrown it away yet?" He asks Alex.

"I'm not gonna throw away a comfortable hoodie just cuz we broke up!" He replies defensively. "Besides I'm with Jefferson now so if I wanted to wear someone else's hoodie I would wear his."

"Ugh so y'all really not back together?" He says disappointed and we shake our heads. He sighs and walks back out to wear Herc is and closes the door.