Dear fucking diary,
I honestly have no idea why I am talking to a non-living thing like it's gonna talk back but then again I am a hundred percent sure I will kill anyone who tries to touch this stupid thing. Not because I care about this thing which will apparently help me communicate more but because I don't like others knowing me or my story. I love myself as I am and I don't have any intention to change myself. Sure it feels bad when people get scared of me when I do nothing. Literally, nothing but they find me creepy and rightfully so. I am eerily silent and I know it. Not mute but I hardly speak five-sentence a day. Mr.Therapist, who is himself scared of me, thinks that talking to a fucking diary will help me. But no.. it's never gonna work.
I bought a new book today. I love reading books and all but I am fed up of buying a new book every two day. Even the library has a limitation. Fuck. You maybe wondering why I dont I just read e-books. So, let me tell you that e-reading is not my thing. Insomnia gives me enough headache and I don't want anymore by looking at the screen.
Bright or not, I get headache. I can't even remember the last time I slept without taking sleeping pills.
Today's improvement: I smiled.
Reason: Hawk Black.
So yeah, that's it. I will just read something and you- stupid thing, can peacefully rest in the cupboard.
R.I.P
I shut the stupid diary and tossed it away. I know I will be back to clean up my room when I get bored. I actually suprised myself and others by smiling today. It felt really weird. I have literally been a Zombie for most of my life. There are many reasons which lead to me becoming so eerily silent but I would rather not revive the memories.
Luka and Neko were equally suprised but proud. They filled my inbox with appraisals. I know smiling is not a big thing but for me it's an achievement. It would probably be an achievement for anyone like me who is an extreme introvert. So expressionless and cold as ice. I don't mean to scare anyone but my expressionless face says otherwise. By now I am used to people flinching and stiffening when they notice my presence.
My presence is most likely ghostly. Making absolutely no sound but sending cold shivers down the spine. One which is no where near pleasurable. I sometimes want to be my old happy self again but unfortunately, I'm broken to the point where no repair is possible.
anyway, thats all in the past.
YOU ARE READING
Forbidden Lovers
RomanceLYRA was studious . One of the bests in her grade. She was an orphan. A nerd.Well... that's what everyone knew about her . But that's just half truth. She had too many secrets that only three people knew. She moved away from her family. She's the...
