Billet-Doux

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CLOUD RECESS

Twin Jade of Gusu, Lan Xichen hasn't been inside the room with the bathtub since he entered into seclusion. He hasn't had a reason to - the only thing back here is the tub anyway.  As he undresses slowly, the air in the room is cold and the water, he confirms with a brief touch, is even colder.
He doesn't make a sound as he slips into the tub. He is used to it as he's certainly endured similar discomfort - it really is a practice in Gusu Lan to bathe in terribly cold water.

But perhaps because of how weak his body is right now, this feels especially awful. The cold stings. It bites and nips at his neck, hard, and it makes his breathing come quicker without his consent. He feels his body try and curl in on itself, but he forces himself not to.

Once he finishes the bath he rises and makes his way over to the trunk and picks another set of robes. He pulls them up hastily, mindful of his own wet hair and body, and
he walks through cloud recess in a solemn mood.

His body moved without thought, long robes gathering around him like clouds collecting across the cold Gusu mountains. Cold ice tugged at the white stretch of his forehead ribbon and dragged it up and floating. His heart was so heavy as his fingers twitched, restless to play Liebeng for a melody to calm his soul and keep him sane, around him like the clouds collecting across the cold Gusu mountains.

He finally realised that he was in love with Yunmeng Clan Sect Leader Jiang Wanyin,Sandu Shengshou.

The Lan Clan members had always fallen so easily into love, and Lan Xichen with his gentle smile and warrior's soul, had been no different

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The Lan Clan members had always fallen so easily into love, and Lan Xichen with his gentle smile and warrior's soul, had been no different. His heavy heart was a reminder of the terrible curse of love, and so often it came with the weight of possessiveness. He had watched it wear away at Lan Zhan, making his brother pine for Wei Wuxian from afar. How was he going to survive this?

He needed his Love. His Soul mate. His sanity back.

He walked to his room and took out his Liebeng, with a new song to play, a melody that spoke of warm comfort and deep trust. Music had rung through this small room for long hours, until he was exhausted,got on the bed and fell asleep.

When he opened his eyes the next morning, he reflexively searches the room and sees nothing. So that's it. After the Cloud Recesses burned down and his father died, it's been one thing after another. All he could do was keep solving problems as they popped up, and it's was never enough. But he still had to smile, smile, smile. He had to be concerned, gracious. He had to be calm and controlled. He had to be perfect for the Clan.

The next time he woke up,he rose out of his sorry excuse for a bed and strode over to the table,there's was pot of tea and an empty cup sitting there. The tea has gone lukewarm, but he wasn't bothered . He settled in by the table, poured himself a cup, and took a long drink. He finished his tea and walked to the table. He has made up his mind and started writing

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