Malpractice Makes Perfect

Chapter 10

            The rest of my Monday was unremarkable except for a very strange call I made to Happy Home Care, a company that hired out nurses for housebound patients. Alexis had sent all employee information for the nurse who had attended to Diana during her last few months; a woman named Corrine Davis.

          Corrine was the person who worked closest with Diana in her last days. She had administered her meds, bathed her, and even planned her meals according to Alexis. She also hit her and kept her drugged according to Este. If anyone could poison or smother or unplug Diana it was the woman who had access to her IV. Not to mention the fact that she had seemed pretty comfortable hugged up with Malik at the repass.

         Why she stayed on the payroll for someone she allegedly hated was a mystery but who knows, plenty of people keep jobs they hate to put food on the table or open the door to other opportunities. I'm my own boss now, but I remember the nine to five hustle very well.

          The Happy Home Care website boasted of quality care that included meal prep, administering medication, companionship, and physical therapy. The senior models they'd hired for the photo-op smiled from behind the page header. All perfectly respectable looking. So, in between a call to the bank and a call to one of my insurance providers, I dialed them up to see what I get find out about our inappropriately friendly nurse.

          The line rang once, then the automated mailbox picked up. I tapped my fingers impatiently as I waited for the robot to recite its message and slowly go over every number for every option on the keypad. When we got to nine, none of the options suited my needs so I pushed zero. The Robot said, 'Sorry. Would you like to hear the options again?', and the torturous bureaucracy of it all just about made me scream into the void.

          I listened to the options one more time before picking number three because it sounded like it would connect me to a human at the very least. By the time the human picked up, I had already thought up an impromptu fabrication.

         "Happy Home Care," said the voice at the other end. "Audra, speaking."

          "Yes, hello. I'm calling in regard to a reference from Corrine Davis. She's one of your home health aides."

          "Excuse me?"

          "I work in the recruiting office for... St Theresa's...Hospital. Ms. Davis left you as a reference for our new...nursing position. I was wondering if you had a moment to speak about her."

          I was getting busted for sure. I could fake my way through restaurant and business terminology, but I didn't know the first thing about the healthcare industry. Why didn't I just admit I was a private investigator? Maybe she would have cooperated. And that stuff about the recruitment office? I don't even bother to check the references of my actual employees! Shit always seemed so pointless...

          "What was her name?" Or maybe she's an underpaid phone person who doesn't care.

          "Corrine Davis."

          "Could you hold for a minute."

         "Of course." On hold I used my free hand to go over payroll on the computer while I bobbed my head to the generic but familiar tune playing as hold music.

          "Hello?" She said almost four minutes later.

         "Yeah?"

          "Ma'am I just checked our entire staff register. No one by the name Corrine Davis has ever worked here."