Forbidden Love

Casual Affair

HARRY'S POV:

Come on, Styles, it's not that difficult. You can have casual conversation with him, it's not like you don't know him or anything. Just talk to the boy, er, uh, man, just smooth things over, start from where you left off, no? Yes? Ugh, get a grip, Styles, please get a grip of your sanity.

Yeah, no. I can't. Sorry mind. It's just not that easy with this kid...er, uh, man. Why do I keep doing that? Now that I think about it, he is adorable, just like a little kid...his eyes are just so cute, so hard to say no to---NO. Styles. You. Have. A. Girlfriend.

God, I wanted to jump out the window just from thinking that.

Someone shoot me for that one. Because Taylor doesn't stop any of my thoughts about the beautiful masterpiece of a man sitting on my couch this very moment. She doesn't stop any of those dreams either. The dreams where Louis and I are free to be together. Where my mind controls whatever happens with us....even the naughty stuff. Wait, forget I said that.

I forgot that I was supposed to be getting us water. Maybe I should get holy water for myself though...

I grabbed two glasses and set them on the counter, deciding to get juice instead. Apple juice at that....dont judge me, I'm a total kid when it comes to apple juice. I poured it in a cup and then carried both glasses back into the living room with me. I handed one to Louis and he laughed a bit.

"You and this apple juice, man. It never stopped did it?"

"Asking me to stop having apple juice is like asking me to stop breathing or to stop loving---"

Holy crap. You almost ruined everything, Styles, you almost ruined everything that you have worked towards your entire life and that would've been bad if you finish that sentence. Don't finish that sentence, Styles, don't you dare finish that sentence...

"Stop loving what Styles?" he asked

"Stop...loving...chicken nuggets. I mean, chicken is amazing. Without chicken, who would I even be, like, you can't spell Harry Edward Styles without chicken, right?"

"Yes you actually can Hazza. You really can." he laughed. I shrugged.

"Don't remember asking you...." I scoffed, taking a sip of my apple juice. Louis made a face at me, and it was telling me that I was wrong.

"You actually did ask me...if we're getting all technical..." he told me. I looked at him and shrugged.

"We're not, I'm just saying."

"What exactly are you saying Styles?" he asked me. "Do you really even know what you're saying? Do you really?"

I really didn't know what I was saying anymore. I mean, this was all so screwy and I wanted to die because I simply didn't know what anymore. This was stressing me out, I had no idea how to answer his questions and what he would say if I answered them honestly. What was he trying to get me to say, I mean, why was he asking me like this? This isn't good for my mental state, this wasn't good---

"Harry, I'm only joking, calm yourself." Louis told me.

Even though he was telling me to, I just couldn't calm down. All these thoughts were rushing through my head at once just wasn't working out right and then him telling me to calm down only made it worse. God, I felt like such a chick right now, and I hated it.

"Okay, okay." I said.

"Jeez, why are you all high strung today?" he asked, seeming genuinely concerned. He moved a bit closer to me on the couch and my breathing kinda hitched. His face was barely two inches from mine. This closeness gave me so many ideas, but I had to remain civil for both of our sakes. This was the first time we've talked in so long, I wasn't going to let my hormones screw this up for me....for us. I had an urge to just close the small gap between us and kiss him, but I wasn't sure that he was going to kiss me back and I wasn't ready to risk it.

I felt the need to tell him everything. Everything that I have been thinking about while I was supposed to be spending time with my 'girlfriend', the feelings of loneliness that I've been feeling in our time apart, and even about the fantasies I have had of us. The daydreams of he and I being together in perfect harmony and not having to worry about the fans or Management or how this would affect our careers. In my world, all I need is Louis. Nothing or anyone else but him. And to be with him again reminded me of what it was like before all of this. All these complications with our "relationship". And it was...nice.

But the thing was that I only felt the need.

"I love you, Louis. You make me crazy, you make me feel things I haven't ever felt with anyone else, especially not Taylor. I don't know, Lou, I just feel safe around you, it's just not the same with anyone else. And now that you're here, it's just hard to put into words what I feel. Its not like writing a song, it's not easy for me to even being saying this."

Louis looked at me, his eyes seemingly searching for an emotion within my face. I wasn't sure what much else I could say to him, I mean, I basically summed up all I wanted to say. I mean, there wasn't much else I could say without looking like I was some love struck little Styles who just so happens to be a hopeless romantic for one guy who happened to be in love with one of his closest friends. Oh wait, that's exactly what I was.

"This isn't some sick joke, right? You're not toying with me right now?" Louis asked, his voice low and kind of shaky. It didn't help that his voice was unsteady, because it made me all the more nervous. I shrugged.

"It's not. It's why not being around you sucked so much. Because you weren't just my friend. You meant even more than my best friend. You were my everything. You ARE my everything. And it's just not the same without you."

"Hazza, I--I don't know what to say." Louis said, almost in a whisper. I shook my head slightly and looked in his eyes, those mysterious, beautifully ocean blue eyes that made me melt every time.

"Don't say anything. Just...let me try something." I said, unsure how this would turn out.

I leaned in close and pressed my lips against his softly. He actually kissed me back, seemingly knowing what I was trying to do. I pulled back and looked at him. He was blushing like a total idiot, and I found it totally adorable.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Louis asked me, looking concerned and a little shocked. I opened my eyes and noticed two things. One, my face was awfully close to Lou's and by that I mean barely an inch away. I could feel him breathin against my face. Secondly, I had my hand on his thigh, and he was looking at my hand now. He looked up at me slowly and made a face at me.

"Harry?" he repeated. "What are you---"

I just had to. I really just had to. I mean, I was already positioned for it anyways. So why not make my thoughts a reality and just kiss the boy.There was no harm in doing that right?

It lasted a couple seconds and then I pulled away. Louis just looked at me, looking a little thrown off by what had just happened. I was a little thrown off myself, and I'm the one that did it.

"Uh..." was all that he said. He started to kinda blush and I swallowed hard, which wasn't easy considering how nervous I was and also the knot that formed in my throat.

"I'm s-sorry Lou, I--I don't know what I was thinking, I'm sorry, just---"

"Harry." he said, cutting me off. I looked at him and took a deep breath.

"What?"

I expected him to tell me I was crazy. I expected him to slap me or hit me in some way. Maybe even just walk out completely. But no. He just looked at me calmly, blush still apparent on his cheeks and then he licked his lips, which made my heart swell on the spot.

"Stop apologizing and just do it again." he said, kinda smiling as he said it. I swear, the rate that my heart was beating was just not healthy. But I liked the rush. And I liked Louis. I liked him a lot.

So I did it again.

And that...that made history.