His Saving Grace

Chapter 37 - The Price & Coma State

One month. I have been in a coma for a month. I have regained strength and a sense of consciousness, but I cannot open my eyes no matter how much I try. I only know I have been in this limbo for a month because as soon as we left the chamber, I could sense everything once more. I can hear and smell my surroundings perfectly, but I am trapped in a never ending slumber. I have heard whispers from Madam Pomfrey, therefore, it was safe to assume I had spent a month in the hospital wing.

During this time, the basilisk's venom had been mostly sucked out of me and I was being given various remedies to rehabilitate me. I should've been dead instantly, but I was fighting away the spirit of the grim, or so Professor Trewlaney stated during her initial visit. Despite this, nothing could completely cure me which was probably the reason I could not escape the darkness I had recklessly embraced.

Somehow no one, except Dumbledore, had questioned the reason as to why I was in such a state and how I got bitten by a snake. When Dumbledore visited, he said that Tom claimed I had been spending time by the Black Lake and a regular snake had cause the damage. I do not know if someone as old and wise as Dumbledore could be convinced by such a pathetic excuse, but he did not make any other inquiries concerning the reasons for my current state. Dumbledore checked on me every day for the first two weeks, but now he only comes in occasionally to get an update on my progress. According to Madam Pomfrey, there is nothing else they can do for me except wait for me to wake up.

That was the scariest part, there was nothing they could do for me. They did not know I heard them practically give up on me and I felt closer to death than an elderly wizard being hit by an unforgivable curse. I did not know if I was capable of waking up and I felt hopeless.

Unlike the adults, the fellow students did not seem frightful for my future. The first few days more than half of Hogwarts payed a visit; I could sense their presence and I smelled the candies and flowers they left in the gloomy room. It felt nice to be appreciated by others even though I did not make the necessary efforts to befriend all of them despite being a kind individual. Sadly, no one visited anymore. I would rather hear people gossiping while hovering over my body than to rest in loud silence. Their resounding voices made me feel alive, but I understood why they only came once in a while now. I would too be tired of visiting someone every day for a month, much more if they were not my best friend or family.

Only two people did not use this logic, those were Abraxas Malfoy and Tom Riddle. I always knew when Abraxas would arrive, right after classes. He would fill me in on everything that occurred in every class and ruffle my hair how he used to do before. He would kiss the top of my head and before leaving he would always say the same short motivating remark, "Come back to us, I know you can do it. I will see you tomorrow!"

His presence was refreshing, it gave me a sense of nostalgia and comfort. Every time he came to visit, I tried a little harder to wake up. His visits were quick, but he always made time for me.

Then, there was Tom and his strangely long hours visiting. He would visit every single day for hours, but he would never say a word to me. If I am not mistaken, he did not leave my side for the first week. He left by force due to Snape's orders, but he always found a way to spend as much time as possible right beside me. He would arrive in the morning and ask about me to Madam Pomfrey and only after confirmation of my stability or progress would he leave for class.

I also noticed how he always let Abraxas have his time with me despite his hatred for the blonde pureblood. I knew this to be true because it could not be a coincidence that he would sit next to my bed exactly a mere two seconds after Abraxas bid me farewell. Right after Abraxas' visit, he would remain by my side; studying and sleeping in the hospital wing. The next morning, he would leave early for breakfast or Head Boy duties and come back to repeat the same exhausting routine over and over again.

Having him so close yet feel so far truly wounded my heart. I could hear his breathing and feel his sadness, but I could not reach out and say 'Hey, I'm okay' or give him a warm hug. I was stuck frozen in place with my eyes closed shut which was worse than being petrified. I do not know if I will even wake up, but I was still overwhelmed with worry for Tom.

Instead of focusing on what I have to do to wake up, all I could obsess over was how Tom must feel right now. To be honest, a part of me wanted him to see that this was the price people like himself have to pay when they even attempt to commit such evil actions. I wanted him to contemplate on everything that lead to this precise moment. I longed for the feelings of guilt and remorse to suppress the abominable spirit of death brewing within his wretched soul. But the other part of me only wanted to come back to him. To wake up and see a redeemed Tom standing in front of me. A man that had said goodbye to his past toxic lover, evil, in search of finding a new self, redemption. I wanted to come back to that sort of man.

Today seemed like another usual day, me waiting for the glorious miracle of my awakening and Madam Pomfrey running the hospital wing on her own while trying to get Tom to say something. At first, Madam Pomfrey seemed to despise Tom because she would greet him coldly and shoo him away around curfew, but she quickly warmed up to him. He slept in the hospital wing only because she allowed him to and she was the one to place the chair next to my bed just for him. I cannot say I am surprised, Tom does have that effect on people. Technically, that same effect is why I am currently in this predicament.

Madam Pomfrey had a one way conversation with Tom, as per usual, while tending to the other patients. Then, she comes over to my bed and changes my bandages. She informs Tom on the fact that I am doing much better and that she has discovered the potential problem behind my abysmal state.

"You got her to the hospital just in time that day, one more minute and she would have died. Now, the problem is this bite does not seem like a regular snake bite, but I shall not press on the matter. Therefore, sucking out the venom only worked because we got to her before the venom fully overtook her body. The only way to fully cure her is with the tears of a phoenix. She should, emphasis on should, wake up.", she stated in a calm but firm voice.

I know that people were not convinced by the 'regular snake bit me in the lake' excuse, but no one could prove otherwise. Tom whispered a quick thank you to Madam Pomfrey, sat next to me once again and interlocked his hand with mine. I could not tighten the grip on our hands, but I hoped he knew I felt truly cherished in this moment.

"You love her, don't you?", she questioned softly.

My heart was about to explode, she asked him a question that I knew he would not be able to answer and one I did not know if I wanted to hear the answer to. After what felt like hours of silence, I heard the response Madam Pomfrey and I were waiting for.

"Umm... well... I... I think I do. I did not think I could feel love, or anything for that matter, due to circumstances you are aware of; but I love her too much for my own good actually.", Tom replied confessing to himself, Madam Pomfrey and unknowingly to me what none of us knew was possible for him to feel.

I did not know what circumstances he was referring to, but I could only focus on one part of his statement. The insensitive and sinister Slytherin Head Boy who closed himself off to the world, could kill on the spot, and could not feel anything that was not greed, anger or thirst for power was in love with a Ravenclaw Head Girl fueled by her hero complex.

Tom Riddle loved me.

With that revelation in mind, I garnered all of my strength and tried to move my hand. The pain I put myself through simply to tighten the grasp on our hands meant that I knew deep down that his confession was reciprocated by me. I fought against my instinct to give up and I continued attempting to, at least, move a finger. After two agonizing minutes, my finger twitched and I wrapped my thumb around his cool veiny hands. It was only for three seconds, but I deeply wished this was enough to show what I could not say. Gaining movement and strength took twice as long as it took for me to let go of his hand and welcome the fatigue into my body.