my journal

saving a life

wow i really let my guards down for you guys, huh? i won't even tell what i want to be to my bestfriend. anyways on with the lesson for today. lesson isn't really the right word.. but anyway-

TW: $UICIDAL THOUGHTS; IDK

so one day i decided i wanted to play Among Us, very popular nowadays and gets you that much needed socializing for the day if you don't have school or are remote. i play a few games, hosting each one because i like having the power of starting the game and stuff at my disposal, and i make a new game after i get disconnected. that is when i came across this person, they were saying things like "would people care if i just killed myself". i know that people do it for attention sometimes but you have to treat every case as if it is true. i was named "Kirishima" and i was red trying to play as cannon kirishima, saying hey bro to the people who entered my server, just trying to make a weebs day. at that point i had dropped that act, someone needed a actual person to talk to them. when things like this happen say things like "of course" "i would care" "your family and friends would be devastated" that what i said but she was a real victim, next she said "i dont have any friends" and i think thats when my heart fell all the way down. i've always been so lucky to have friends and people who care about me, yet there are so many people around us that get bullied and made fun of. i know we have all done it. gossiping about that one person nobody likes. i used to and i am very ashamed. i have fixed some of it by befriending that person everyone gossips about and they show how grateful they are. i have a great friend now for being that one person who lends a hand. that girl i met playing among us was one of them. so i send 4 words that made my life a little bit less cruddy and her life a little longer. "i'll be your friend!" she was so surprised by those words it hurt. i gave her my social media (Tik Tok and Snapchat) and i continued with my day being her friend. her only friend. 

the next day im looking at my TikTok notifications and i saw a video made with my username tagged in it. she had my TikTok so we were able to be friends forever and she drawn my among us character. it was so cool ill have to take a picture of it and put it on here. she had also commented on my video reminding me of our encounter (so i knew who it was and seeing if it was me) and asking if i didn't want to be friends and if i was just talk. i am a woman of my word. the only thing i lie about doing is homework. she also spoke another language along with english which is think is hella cool. i obviously said i still did and that i loved the art she made. i have it in my camera roll (on my phone, i write on my computer) somewhere in between anime memes and ss of my odd friends. 

basically, if someone is acting like this, saying those things, or isnt really themselves, remind them how much you care and love them. 

i was in a really bad place before i met all of you. i cant say im 100% better but i don't go to the thoughts of killing myself as quickly when something happens. you guys mean so much to me, thank you all so much. xoxoxoxo! 

you guys can say you saved a life. it is probably true. even if you weren't one of the people who helped me through my extra bad time doesn't mean you've never come across someone who was battling the same battle. you could've not even known it, yet you still changed the path of the wind. 

 the national suicide prevention hotline is 1-800-273-TALK 

you can always talk to me too <3