God's gift

Into the fire

So let us start again, eh ?

No, he wasn't ready for this. Wasn't ready to throw the church's rules through the window. Having sex with a woman, without being married... it was a sin. To be grounded in matter, rather than looking up was another. No, he just couldn't.

Perhaps his distress was written all over his face, for Frances reached for his cheek with a smile.

— "It's all right, Tristan. There is no pressure. We have all the time in the world"

The former priest remained silent, shameful of his instincts. The aim of a human being was to transcend his animality, was it not ? But he knew how impossible it was, how detrimental to one's health and existence to ignore the call of the earth. Food, love and children were part of life, weren't they ? Frances grabbed his hand, kissing his knuckles.

— "Physical love is love all the same to me. There is a huge difference between having sex and making love."

— "I can't... I am wary of lust, Frances. I don't want to ..."

The words couldn't come out and Tristan felt entirely powerless to make up his mind.

— "It's all right. Someday, you will know how beautiful loving is. And if it is not now, we can just take a few moments for a cuddle. I want to test this bed frame of ours"

And so they did, entirely clothed, laying down upon the sheets until their heartbeat settled. And for days on after that, life resumed, and Frances didn't allow them to get carried away. 'You set the pace', she had once told him. And she scrupulously respected her word. He didn't know if it was as difficult for her as it was for him. If so, she deserved praises because she alighted his body with the barest of touches.

One evening... one evening, he felt like he was literally going to burst into flames. Now that he knew what she tasted like, how her little body melted against his own. Neither the cold shower, nor praying helped him much. So when she started drawing for a project at school, Tristan decided to enjoy the sunset on the terrace and work on a long Tai-Chi routine. The moves effectively blanked his mind of all lustful thoughts, aligning his body with both heaven and earth. And while the sun dipped, painting the sky pink, Tristan took a moment to meditate. The swirl of his mind became calm waters, the tempest raging inside easing away. The flow set him back in his place. A human, with a spiritual mind, and a body inherited from earth. An animal with a higher conscience, the conscience of God.

His eyes flew open as understanding dawned, deep inside.

Tristan slid the wide door so abruptly that Frances started, bouncing from the sofa. He didn't bother drawing the curtains, nor closing the blind as he pounced upon the unsuspecting lady. Giggling, she attached herself to his neck, hugging him tight. Her wide eyes told him she was wondering what had happened, so he kissed her soundly. Once, twice, a third time before breathing out.

— "I love you, Frances. I love you so much that my heart will burst"

She seemed speechless, but he didn't give her time to consider his words before he kissed her again, begging for her lips to part to latch his tongue to hers. Frances whimpered slightly, a low, gentle moan that echoed in the back of her throat. The sound was his undoing, and Tristan dragged her to her room, his lips still attached to hers, before he kicked the door close. The noise caused them both to start, Frances taking a step back, breathing heavily.

— "Tristan..."

The former priest inhaled sharply, trying to rein his frantic heart.

— "I will not shy away from you. I will not deny my love for you either. You deserve it, in any form that is pure upon this earth."