Teenage Nightmare (Jalex)

It's Creeping Up Again. It's Just A Matter Of Time.

(Song- Matter of Time - Cartel)
(TW: Bipolar episode, hallucinations, hearing voices)

The court date approached too quickly for Alex's liking. He was ready, and somehow none of him was ready at all.
His migraines hadn't stopped. Every so often, the vision around him was black, like he was looking through a toilet paper roll that kids use to make a pretend telescope. Alex had begun shaking a lot too. He knew what some of these things meant, but surely he was well medicated right? Surely he was okay. All this came down to was the stress that he's under. Right?
That's what he was forcing himself to believe at least.

He hadn't been sleeping well either. His dreams were bad. Always bad. In his most recent nightmares, he saw nothing. Everything around him was shrouded in pitch blackness, with a foggy haze over it. He stumbled through, tripping over things he couldn't see, just trying to find a way out.
Sometimes, there would be a vision of someone he knew waiting for him at the end, Rian, or his mom, Jack sometimes too. Yet he could never reach them. When he called their names, nothing came out of his mouth. He could hear himself internally calling their names, his lungs ached each time he yelled, and yet nothing came out. He ran and he ran, and nothing moved. The people he was trying to reach never got closer. 
Alex gave up. The last parts of his nightmare always included him laying down on the ground and letting it swallow him alive. It felt painful, like sharp vines wrapping around his body, pulling him deep under whatever ground he was walking on, until he couldn't breathe anymore.
He woke up covered in sweat with tears running down his cheeks. 
It took a minute of focusing on reality, what was here in front of him for him to snap out of it.
There was Elise sleeping in her bed, and his room just the way he left it, messy but not too messy.
He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at his phone. 4 AM. 
Alex flopped back down and stared at the ceiling.
It was funny, the ceiling had stars on it. 
He equated that to exhaustion, so he closed his eyes instead.

The court date went like Alex wanted it to, with one thing making it so.
Ellie nor her parents ever showed up to the court date.
With that said, Alex was granted full custody of Elise and was not required to oblige any visitation rights to Ellie, because she failed to appear. The fact that her attorney was there was not good enough. Both parents needed to be in court for custody hearings.
This made Alex happy, nothing else did though. The only one who could make him smile right now was Elise. He felt himself slowly sinking, just like in his nightmares. 

Back at school the next day was exhausting.
Alex walked with Rian down the hall to the cafeteria.
Alex saw a person standing where he was walking, so he bumped into Rian to make sure they were out of the way, muttering an "I'm sorry" To the person.
"Alex who were you talking to? Why'd you push me?" Rian asked, confused.
Alex turned around to look over his shoulder, "The...There was a person there." He pointed at the spot just a couple of feet from where they were, suddenly confused by the fact that the person was gone and nowhere in his clear line of vision.
Rian looked at Alex with nothing but pure concern and worry on his face, "No...There wasn't..." He felt his stomach sink. This wasn't happening again.
Alex shrugged, "I just...I thought I saw someone. Sorry." He mumbled and walked into the cafeteria, not bothering to get a tray. He hadn't been eating much anymore. He grabbed a water bottle and that's it. He sat down on the bench of their usual table and waited for Rian, who was just trailing slowly behind. 
Rian grabbed himself a tray, got the food he wanted, then made his way over to Alex, sitting down next to him. He eyed Alex a little, noticing Alex's eyes wandering around the room. His eyes never stopped on anything, they kept darting around to the corners and up to the ceiling.
"Hey. Alex." 
Alex looked at him, "Hm?" He responded, not understanding Rian's concerned expression.
"What were you looking at?" Rian asked, following the trail Alex's eyes had gone just moments ago.
Alex shrugged, "Just looking around." That was a lie. He was seeing bats flying around the room.
This was fine. Just tired. Stressed.
Rian didn't believe him, but he nodded his head and started working on his lunch, texting his girlfriend Aubree about going on a date this weekend. Aubree didn't live in Baltimore, she lived two hours away, hence why Rian doesn't see her that often. Weekends were usually their thing.

Driving home, Alex slammed on his breaks when he heard a voice talking to him despite the fact that there was no one in his car.
'Drive into that light post.' The voice instructed. This voice was angry sounding.
"Why would I do that?" Alex asked out loud, confused.
'Because it would be fun.' 
"That doesn't sound very fun..." 
'Do it anyway.'

'Don't do it.' A different voice responded. It almost sounded like his mom. 
"I won't..." Alex responded, then started driving again when cars honked their horns behind him. The conversation between the voices ended. Alex shook his head. Just his subconscious messing with him. He hadn't been sleeping, right? Exhaustion. He'd take a nap with Elise when he got home. 
When he did get home, that's exactly what he did. Isobel had just finished feeding and burping Elise, who was now drifting off to sleep in her arms, so Alex put his bag down and hung his keys up.
He took Elise from his mom's arms, kissed Isobel's cheek and took Elise upstairs to go nap.
Placing the little blonde baby in her bassinet, Alex stripped off his clothes to just his underwear and got under his blanket, closing his eyes and letting himself drift.
He'd feel better after the nap. 
He was right, he did feel better. His head was clear when he woke up to Elise cooing and squealing, making a little 'haaaa' noise, like she was on the verge of laughing for the first time.
Alex smiled, picked her up and snuggled her, "Good morning sweet girl." He cooed at her, earning a smile. 
"Let's change your stinky diaper and put some comfy jammies on you." 
He took care of that and took Elise downstairs to make himself some dinner. 

Alex's phone vibrated. He put Elise in her little swing and turned it on.

Rian: You're worrying me Alex. Are you okay? Be honest.

Alex: I'm fine, just tired. I get like that sometimes. No big deal.

Rian: Okay... Tell me if you feel. You know. Those things.

Alex: I will. Don't worry.

He put his phone away and worked on making himself a frozen pizza. He didn't particularly want pizza, especially not a crappy frozen one but it would have to do considering he didn't want to actually cook anything.
Alex stood there against the counter, fixating on the crooked knobs on the stove. He fixed them, then stared at the clock on the microwave, feeling a little bit anxious at the fact that the time was 6:05. He preferred even numbers, but he didn't understand why he was getting anxiety over the time. He looked away. 
"Fuck." He whispered to himself. What was happening to him?
It was then that his dad Peter walked in, which gave Alex an excuse to perk up a little.
"Hey dad." He smiled.
Peter smiled back, hanging up his keys, then bending over Elise to smile at her and play with her for a minute before walking into the kitchen to join his son, "What are you making?" He asked.
Alex shrugged, "Didn't wanna cook, so I threw that frozen pizza in. You can have some if you want." He offered, looking at the clock again. 6:07. He glared. He missed the even number. Now he had to wait for it to be 6:08.
"Alright, I have to go into my office and type a few things out for the meeting tomorrow, but I'll come back out as soon as I'm done and get some. Thanks son." Peter patted Alex on the back and retreated to his office, like he does every night. The man practically lives there.
Alex sighed and looked down at the ground again, before he compulsively looked at the clock again. 6:08. He breathed a sigh of relief and texted Rian. 
"It's creeping up again, it's all been considered, it's a game and you're not the winner. It's a haunting memory, cause all you can't deny is held inside" Alex sang the lyrics of one of his favorite Cartel songs that seemed incredibly fitting right now. 

Alex: I just got anxious over the clock having odd numbers instead of even ones.

Rian: Okay...Is that all?

Alex: Yeah. 

Lie. He left out the bats and the voices. At least he was reaching out at all.

Rian: Alright. Get some good sleep tonight. Need me to come over and get up with El so you can sleep?

Alex: If you want.

Rian: Be there soon.

Rian let himself in and smiled at Elise, who was staring at the little dangling stars from her swing.
Alex was at the table eating his pizza and drinking a Pepsi.
Rian dropped his bag of things by the door and joined Alex.
"How do you feel?" Rian questioned, getting a drink from the fridge and a slice of pizza before sitting down across from Alex.
Alex tiled his head, "Dizzy." He mumbled. It was true. He was pretty dizzy right now.
Rian sighed, "Is it coming back?" He asked the question he never wanted to ask again.
Alex nodded, "Maybe. We'll see what happens if I start to get more than two hours of sleep each night." He took a bite of his pizza and stared back at his best friend.
"Wanna play Call of Duty tonight?" Alex broke the silence.
Rian smiled a little and nodded, "Yeah. Sounds good."