Sound

V.

"What's that?" I asked...but everyone looked at me like I was going insane. "What do you mean?" - "That sound...you don't hear it?" They looked at each other and tried to listen to this "sound" I was describing. Then just replied with a simple "No." - "That's not funny, stop making me feel crazy..." - "Seriously, there is no sound..."

I went to the medic of this group, to ask for some advice, but he didn't really listen or done anything. It was already kind and he didn't want to be disturbed unless it was an emergency. Plus I already bothered him with my burned arm...

I thought I just made it up somehow and I tried to fall asleep, but it took some time. In the morning I felt nothing like the day before...I was super tired, I was in a really bad mood and that sound didn't go away.

I went through the last trip day in back, the last one of the whole group... I wasn't in a mood to talk to other people...or sing some songs, or make jokes, or play some games...

I didn't actually realize what was happening to me. I thought that it is not that big of a deal, but it was so annoying. It is kinda hard to describe...it is a really high sound in my head that no one else can hear...nothing scary or anything.

***

The camp was going to end and I was pretty glad. I didn't want to be there second longer than necessary. This sound thing really killed the mood. People made jokes, but not in a mean way. I still felt like a freak.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to go on this camp in the first place but now I wish, I've never gone on that trip.

***

My parents picked up me and my sister Brooke. I was really looking forward to shower. I wanted to ask my mum about the sound, which turned out to be the most annoying thing ever. Mainly because it never stopped.

But there was no space for talking about that...Parents of course asked stuff like "So, how have you been?" or "What did you think of this year camp..." My sister was like I-am-going-to-tell-you-everything.

I didn't mind it. I didn't want to talk...later we washed all our clothes and packed again and that day we went to our (well, our uncles) cottage. I tried to tell my parents I had a problem, but there wasn't much space for it because of this rush no one actually listened. I hate this week of summer break. Our whole family goes to this cottage to be together for this whole "nice" week. That doesn't sound that bad, but for me it was like a hell. I had no one to talk to there and members of my close family talk to the others.. There was no one my age...

Since no one had time to talk to me about my problem for a few days I was pretty upset. So I'd hidden in our room, when everyone else was watching some crappy movie in the second cottage right next door.

I was reading a book. I love to read, but non-optional books for school are ruining it a bit. And suddenly the power went out. And then it hit me big.

It was dark everywhere and this f*cking sound was really loud. I couldn't hear anything else. I started to freak out. I was a pretty small kid back then...

I bursted to tears. I felt so weak, so fragile,..I thought I was going crazy. But I sucked up my pride and went to my parents. Upset or not, I was freaking out...it didn't matter anymore.

When they'd seen my face they finally listened to my problem and mom started to freak out even more than I did, which didn't calm me down very much...

She asked questions like "Why didn't you tell us earlier?" etc. We had to ride to Prague to a hospital the next morning. What they've told me shaped me to who I am today...