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Even with the light of the White Tower polluting the sky, the stars still shine bright, tiny pinpricks of light in the grey-flushed night sky. The sky is always lit in Hemlock Grove, artificial light isolating the residents from the grandeur of the heavens. Most people here have never seen the milky way through the clouds, have never been taken aback by the colossal size of the universe, and realized how little everything mattered in the end. It would be impossible to replicate the feeling of insignificance a clear night sky birthed in the consciousnesses of every viewer in a town like this. This town is self-absorbed; corrupted just like the night sky by the company which towers over them.
Back home, you'd stay up late into the night to watch the moon on bad days. There's something clarifying about the milky face of the moon. Looking up at the dark sky at home would lull you into a thoughtless stupor, and once the sun peaked the horizon and you became aware of yourself again, whatever problem you had seemed much more trivial. You yearn for that feeling again, but even with your eyes turned to the heavens in Hemlock Grove you know that you won't find any wisdom from the faded moon.
With your eyes on the light-weakened moon, you realize you haven't missed your old home as you do now since before you met Roman. Although he's the perfect example of the type of self-centered person living in Hemlock Grove, he carries an innocence with him you'd not seen in other residents here. It draws your eyes, your attention, distracting you from the stressful side of life, and giving you a fresh view to look back on your problems with. You take things too seriously, and Roman gives you the levity you need to feel happy like the world isn't against you. He is the closest reminder of your life back home that you have. There's a thin line between loneliness and love, you know that, but knowing that you're hungry doesn't feed you.
You don't understand the feelings that writhe in your chest anymore. You can't wrap your head around Roman's harsh words from the Gala, can't piece together why he seemed like a different person, cold and angry. You know him, can place your finger on every emotion that flashes behind his green eyes, and he knows you. The two of you understand each other, find safety in each other's presence. Until tonight, and now you aren't so sure. The person that scared you to wit's end, that so clearly appeared as dangerous couldn't have been Roman.
But it was. Your heart and gut deny it, but your mind thinks you glimpsed a darker version of him, lying beneath the surface.
You sit up and glance around the Park you'd been laying in for the past hour and a half. You've spent the entire time feeling like you'd swallowed magnets, one dropping to the bottom of your stomach and the other creating a lump in your throat, both creating pressure to be joined together. The Gala ended at midnight, an hour after you'd texted Roman back. Your text had been extremely deliberate, sending a clear message that you don't want to see Roman unless he is apologizing and explaining. You've received no confirmation he'd read the text, have no real reason to still be sitting in the Park, but here you are, waiting for nothing, wallowing in unnamed emotions, and asking questions that can't be answered. You're ready to leave and try to forget about the events of the Gala, distance yourself from Roman-like Peter advised, and keep yourself safe. You stand to leave, to go home to the apartment that at the moment makes your skin crawl when thought stops you in your tracks.
