OC Reviews [ old , no longer updated ]

˚#2 - S ˚

Author Note : I'll be using a Bolded font for making comments on the character.

Fandom: Creepypasta I guess? I kinda just have her as a stand-alone horror OC.

Name: Sydney Carrie

Nicknames: "S" (Nobody calls her Sydney, they just call her "S")

Age: 15

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Asexual

Appearance: She has long black hair with bangs, with a white butterfly clip in her hair. She wears a black school uniform (Ik it's not original) and a heart necklace

Not a bad design, but depending on how you're using the character you may want to spice it up a bit. As well as this, it would be good if there were some more details written down (eg, skin color, body shape, eyes).

Personality: She's very curious, quiet, and vengeful. She isn't the best at lying or acting, but is still very easy to be fooled and manipulated.

Relationships: She has a best friend named Daisy or died from a murderer in her school, and she was her only friend for a very long time. She also has a ....relationship? with this boy named Kay who was Daisy's murderer and ex-boyfriend. (Explained in backstory.)

Backstory: Her childhood friend Daisy was found dead at her school and "S" suspected that Kay is the killer. At Daisy's funeral, "S" notices that Kay isn't sad about it. Soon, "S" finds Kay crying. When Kay guilt-trips "S" by fake-crying and the two became really odd friends to each other ("S" is trying get close to Kay to see if he killed Daisy). Kay stays home after school one day. Suspicious, "S" follows Kay, just in time to see him kill another student. "S" gets attacked by Kay, before stabbing him in the arm and running out of the school. Little does she know, Kay had called the police, and blamed it on her. She goes to jail, with Kay still out there.

A few things here- it's not very clear what S wants with Kay, apart from being suspicious of him. As well as this, what else happened to her? Only this part with Kay is written, it would be good if we had more (eg, her childhood, where she is now).

Other lil notes: Her locket is a gift from Daisy. She had a slight crush on Daisy, but not for very long.

Overall 6.5/10. I think the plot line is pretty good and the relationships are interesting, however it's mostly her backstory and, to me at least, is not entirely clear what intentions S had toward Kay (Getting him arrested? Killing him?). It's also a lot to happen when she's 15 or younger, and Kay blamed S very easily. I think you did a very good job with characters, however the story could use a few tweaks 💖