if this is the last time.

15 | leave me to the stars

I see no reason why you should not
Tie my arms with that rope you've got
You, of all people, knew my heart
You'd recognize my soul even if taken apart
We could love, sadly, we could
But I swear I will make you remember, I would
How you sewed shut my voice and hurriedly left
How you bolted the doors, ran away with my heart on your theft
And this is how I didn't expect it to be
The way you have beaten me and to quickly flee
Of how the next days, I've nourished the scars
With bitter memories of how you left me to the stars

All the mended piece of our love has come undone
The silence of shadows, until morning, have not gone
Until what sunrise should I wait and deliver
I stare up at the sky, waiting for the possible answer
What then should our love and passion be
As all who loved, all will vanish suddenly
You, who once treated me like your precious
Screamed at me, so soon it made you dangerous
This whispering pain I felt as you turned away
I try to tamp down my anxiety as you say
That you never loved me, you'll always be the farthest of fars
That is how I know you will leave me to the stars

The night sky is impossibly deep and bright
Tiny, shining lights of ivory, shedding some light
As I stare up at them, I imagine life as it should be
I picked a plane and it does set me free
But freedom isn't what I was looking for
I was searching for a lifesaver, a way to settle the score
Still, love and life continued to be sore
Now I was back to where I was before
I remember, with you, everything was crazy
Nights, days, even breaks are incredibly silly
And I know we're both out there waging our wars
You forget about me, leave me to the stars

I cry night and day, waiting to be heard
But life never stops, life is absurd
I was hoping for something that could change the game
But it dangled helplessly against the ongoing rain
I ask myself—what do I want to gain?
I came up with no answer, it drives me insane
The struggle of love and hatred is real
Until one gives in and to forget is to feel
The shame of being caged as love drew near
Fills my heart as I breathe it all here
I never hoped you'd suddenly store my heart in jars
Now, please, just go and leave me to the stars

Yup. I wrote that.

I can't believe I wrote something as profound as this at sixteen. Like, really. I didn't expect the lines to leap at me now that I am retyping and rereading this at the same time. Lines like All the mended piece of our love has come undone / The silence of shadows, until morning, have not gone distracted me from enjoying the rest of the poem as I type it. I just never knew I can be profound in the English language when I'm not looking.

I was just surprised. lol.

How about you? What do you think of this poem? Comment below. :)