I Survived, But At What Cost?

The day it all started

Nirvana was on her way to school. It was Sunday, she was excited to see her friends after the long summer vacation. She walked through the corridor and found her way to her class. Class 9, section B, read a small sign on the door. She entered her class to see someone waving and smiling at her from the backseat. It was Shawon,her best and only friend at school. She pointed at Nirvana to sit next to her. Nirvana walked over to Shawon and put her school bag at the seat next to her. And they started talking about what they did during the summer.

Shawon : "It's so good to see you after so long Nir! (Short for Nirvana) I couldn't even text you because you don't have a phone. I missed you so much.

Nirvana : I missed you too Shawon.

Shawon : C'mon! Tell me everything you did!

Nirvana : Nothing. Just the usual.

Shawon : Of course.. It's you after all. All you do is study and watch anime. Just get a life really.

Nirvana : That's just how my life is you know. Don't bother, tell me about what you did! I'm sure you went to a lot of fun places.

Shawon : yea yea sure... Well I went to Kuakata with my family! It was super fun. It was my first time seeing the ocean. I collected corals as well. And I even went out with my friends a couple times. Some relatives came over a few times. My vacation was pretty fun...unlike you.

Shawon kept babbling on.. And Nirvana listened with a look of great enthusiasm. This is why Nirvana got along with Shawon so well. Shawon is very talkative, where Nirvana barely talks. Not that she's shy, but she usually never has anything to say. Her life revolves around books,comics and anime. She lives in the world of fiction. Nothing interesting happens in her life. But she is very much content with it. She feels like she experiences everything through the fictional characters. She doesn't want this life to ever change. Or maybe she's just afraid to face reality. She has never felt any strong emotions. She has only felt second hand tragedy from fictional character. Either way, she wants to stay this way. Plain and invisible to everyone. She sees herself as a passing cloud in everyone's life. A cloud without any rain, thunder or sunshine. As if she's just a helping side character,an extra in everyone's story. But she doesn't mind. She's totally fine with it.

Her day went by pretty fast. Class after class, then lunch break and class again. But at the last period, something happened. She was called in by her homeroom teacher to the principal's office. She was shocked because she never did anything wrong or rebellious for which she could get in trouble . She was confident about that but her hands still trembled while she walked through the corridors and went down the stairs.

She entered the principal's office to find her homeroom teacher and the principal sitting across each other with a gloomy face. The principal was holding her cellphone in her hands. They didn't look angry,but rather, sad.

Nirvana felt a bit relieved that maybe she's not in trouble, but also a bit concerned. The principal told her with a cold voice,

"Miss Nirvana Barua, dear, I'm afraid you have to take leave for the day. Your father called us and said that your mother is in a fatal condition. She might not survive to see tomorrow. He's at the hospital, waiting for you. Will anyone come to pick you up? Can you go alone? If not the school staff will gladly assist you there"

Nirvana's mouth went open for just a second. But she pulled herself together. She nodded and assured the principal that she can take the bus. Then she left to pick up her belongings from her class.

She wasn't that shocked to be honest. She saw this coming. Her mother suffered from Leukemia. She had been spending her days in the hospital for more than a year now. This was bound to happen. She thought it won't upset her that much as she knew this would happen sooner or later. She didn't even have a strong relationship with her parents. She barely ever talked to them. But she felt her chest tighten up from the inside as she walked out of the school to the bus stop. She didn't understand this feeling. She watched the cars and other vehicles pass her by as the bus stopped before the hospital.

She took the elevator to the 3rd floor and reached the room her mother was in. She hesitated for a moment. She could hear some sobbing and crying from the inside. She opened the door and entered the room.

She saw her dad sitting in a corner. His phone was in his hand. A few tear stains on his cheek.

Her aunt sat beside her mother's unconscious body, crying loudly.

Nirvana stared at this pathetic view for a few minutes. Her aunt never called or came to visit her mom. His dad never cared about her either. He was always busy with his job. In the weekends he went to hangout with his colleagues. No one ever had time for her or her mother. Now that she's dead they're all crying like they lost something very important.

She felt angry. But she calmed her nerves and sat down beside her dad and stared at the corpse of her mom. She was too late to say a last goodbye to her birth giver. It didn't matter much to her. She didn't love her mom. She didn't love anyone. She was always alone. And she's fine with it. But she's a bit worried about what would happen to her and her dad financially. Her mom had a job and she paid half the rent. Now they'd have to move out and get a cheaper home. She'd have to give up on her private tuitions.

Her mind went blank. She kept staring at her mom's pale face as a teardrop silently rolled down her cheek.

[Author's note: This story takes place in 2015, in Dhaka,Bangladesh. In most countries, weekdays start from Monday. But in Bangladesh it starts from Sunday. Fridays and Saturdays are the weekends. I hope I cleared the confusion there : 3 And forgive my grammar mistakes and awful writing. English isn't my first language. I just had this story in mind for a while so I decided to publish anyways despite it being so messy and imperfect. ]