6
Went through a period after my birthday, not talking to many people but Eva. James disappeared. Off to his dad’s I presume, not like he told me anything.
I was angry and… upset. I guess.
Mr Peirce/Josh ignored me for a whole week. I was impressed. Then he slammed me up against a wall after catch up one Tuesday and kissed me. Like he’d kissed me at the harbour.
I looked at him in a wary way, trying to work out whether he was going to throw me around the room a bit more. He caught my expression and started laughing.
Then we got in his car, drove to his flat and had sex. Multiple times.
So much for a one time thing.
My mum didn’t talk to me for days after I came back. So I didn’t talk to her. And then finally she broke down in angry tears. She looked like a psychiatric patient. She’d just come out of the shower and eye make up was running down her face, she was wrapped in an old ratty dressing gown. I wondered what she’d done with her red silk one.
I said nothing. She said nothing. She just looked at me.
I still looked at her. She shook her head and walked from the room.
I whispered, ‘Sorry.’ too late.
She started talking to me again but in short polite sentences. I’d rather that she had kept her silence.
Daisy wouldn’t talk to me either cause I was upsetting mum.
‘Fuck sake Daisy, stop being a moody bitch. Come on. You didn’t even say happy birthday to me.’
‘You weren’t here on your birthday, remember.’
I paused.
‘Well… oh come on Daisy. Help me out here. I’m already getting treated like a criminal by mum. And James has gone.’
She looked up at that.
I waited, but she said nothing. Eventually I gave up and walked out of her room, slamming the door as I went out.
Later on though she snuck into my room and climbed into bed beside me.
She nuzzled her little sweat smelling head under my chin and whispered, ‘I’m sorry about James.’
‘Yeah, me too.’
‘Why does he never tell you when he’s leaving.’
‘Don’t know.’
She paused.
‘Cunt.’
I burst out laughing. ‘Daisy! Never ever let me hear you saying that in front of mum.’
She giggled and in a few minutes she was snoring lightly. Like a little wild animal.
I turned my head towards the window.
It was a Wednesday. May was sketchy. Rain one minute, sunshine and rainbows the next.
Josh had cornered me after physics.
‘Beth, wait, I want to talk to you about your exam results.’
Eva let go of my hand and slipped out of the door and into the crowd without looking back. We waited until the room was empty.
I tried to smile.
‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ He ran his hand down my arm and held my hand.
I tried not to cry.
