Part 17

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{ A song has been linked above to make thing's much worse for yourself (: }

Kuroo's permanent move to the hospital had been less monumental than Kenma had thought it would be.

Less than 24 hours after an episode where Kuroo had struggled to force air into his lungs to an extent where Kenma was seconds away from calling an ambulance, they'd made the decision it was for the best, even if it was terribly hard to admit. Kenma had called up the hospital, helped Kuroo pack anything he'd need into a duffel bag, and then off they went.

Neither of them mentioned that it was probably the last time that Kuroo would step foot into their apartment.

They'd settled Kuroo into a private room pretty fast, Kenma making sure to draw open the window as soon as they arrived. The white walls and antiseptic smell turned Kenma's stomach, the room far too impersonal and jarring for him to feel comfortable knowing that this was now Kuroo's home.

Time seemed to move exceptionally fast after that. Hours flew by, Kenma barely had enough in a day to fit both work and spending as much time at the hospital as he wanted to. The thought of Kuroo alone in an alien white room was enough to make his blood run cold.

Luckily enough, Bokuto and Akaashi visited as often as they were free. Bokuto's laughter often filled up the small room, plus he'd helped Kenma decorate it with photos and ugly cat memes that they knew Kuroo would love, as well as glow-in-the-dark stars in the shape of some of Kuroo's favourite constellations on the walls. Kuroo's eyes had lit up when they turned out the lights to let them glow the first time, delighted to have the stars keep him company.

In addition to this, the hospital was only three blocks away from Akaashi's publishing firm, he often spent his lunch breaks with Kuroo, sending Kenma photos of the both of them to keep him updated. Kenma had been quick to set one of Kuroo laughing as his lock screen.

Days turned to weeks, and months were creeping up on them. Kuroo's condition worsened at a rapidly increasing pace, just as Dr Yamazaki had warned that it would. Kuroo took it in stride, though. He never contested the addition of another tube or wire, respirator or machine.

One day, when the cherry blossoms were blooming in the park that Kenma walked past to get to the hospital each day, Kenma had the horrible thought that he didn't really recognise Kuroo any more.

He hated himself for thinking it, but it was too late to take it back.

Kuroo had been asleep at the time, head leaning to the side, the veins in his neck contrasted against his otherwise pale skin. His face looked gaunt, his lips curving down. His usual bed hair was now permanently pressed against his forehead, losing all its liveliness against the stiff hospital pillows. The seemingly endless tubes poked from his skin made Kenma's arms itch, holding him in his place leaning against the door.

It didn't look like his Kuroo any more.

Kenma still didn't love him any less.

He bit his bottom lip, still paralysed in the doorframe. He'd never been so hesitant when it came to Kuroo before, and he didn't know why. His head knew he was being irrational, this was still his Kuroo, if only he could convince his heart of this.

Kenma scrunched his nose, a momentary wave of self-loathing washing over him. He wasn't going to start thinking like this now.

He loved Kuroo. He really did.

As though he could hear Kenma's thoughts, Kuroo stirred, eyes cracking open. "Hey, kitten."

"Hi," Kenma replied. He lifted his hand in a small wave. "How are you today?"

"'M good. Keiji came over. Told me how the manga he's editing is gonna end." Kuroo blinked at him, trying to rid himself of the grips of sleep. "How're you?"

Kenma smiled. "I'm good." He felt better now that he was talking to Kuroo, better now that he had the chance to be in his presence. He didn't know how he ever could have wondered if this was still his Kuroo in the first place.

"I'm totally done with work for today," Kenma continued, voice warm. "You wanna watch something with me?"

Kuroo nodded. "I'd like that."

Kenma crossed the barrier between them, stepping into the hospital room and closing the door behind him. He was quick to drop his backpack after he procured his laptop, and slide into the hospital bed beside Kuroo. He placed his laptop between them, balancing on their pressed-together legs. "Anything in particular you wanna watch?"

"Up to you," Kuroo mumbled.

Kenma scrolled through Netflix menus for a few minutes before settling on a movie that was supposed to be a comedy, pressing play before leaning his head on Kuroo's shoulder. It didn't take long for his eyelids to begin to flutter shut and sleep to overtake him.

By the time he came back to consciousness, the credits of the movie were playing, Kuroo still intently staring at the screen. If he'd noticed that Kenma had dozed off, he hadn't said anything.

"Did you like that?" Kenma asked, stretching one arm out.

"Yeah," was Kuroo's only reply.

Kenma grimaced. Kuroo's replies really were growing more infrequent lately, more time spent in silence than conversing. Quiet was something that Kenma had never been able to associate with Kuroo before, but it was quickly becoming another member of their relationship.

"Do you want to watch another one?"

The corner of Kuroo's mouth quirked up. "So you can take another nap?"

"Not my fault you're a comfortable pillow." As though to display this, Kenma leant his head back onto Kuroo's shoulder. It was bonier than it had been in the past, digging into Kenma's head a little bit, but nonetheless, comfortable in its own way. "Another movie? Or we can do something else."

"Don't you have work tomorrow?" Kuroo asked, ever the responsible one.

"I'm thinking of just staying here tonight and calling in sick tomorrow, to be honest with you."

"Kenma," Kuroo chided. "You shouldn't do that."

"Why not? The joy of being my own boss is that I can legally do whatever I want. I am the company policy." His tone was deep, mockingly professional.

The laugh it elicited from Kuroo made it all the more worth it. "God, you're so cute."

Kenma hummed. "You're pretty cute yourself."

"Please don't tell me you two are still like this," A third voice added from the doorway. Both Kenma and Kuroo looked up to greet none other than Bokuto, Akaashi standing right beside him. "You two are proof the honeymoon phase never ends."

"Says you," both Kenma and Kuroo say in unison. They'd made a running joke out of Bokuto mentioning Akaashi in every interview he'd done, either directly or indirectly, calling him Akaashi or 'my fiance' or 'the world'.

"Are we interrupting anything?" Akaashi asked, pushing his glasses up. "We can come back tomorrow."

"No, come in." Upon Kenma's invitation, both of them stepped into the room, Akaashi choosing to sit in the chair beside the bed, and Bokuto on the foot of the bed.

Between the four of them, the room was filled with more sound and liveliness than it had been previously, now devoid of any darkness Kenma had noticed creeping in earlier. Although Kuroo hadn't the energy to do as much speaking as the rest of them, Kenma could tell by the smile on his face and alertness in his eyes that he was happy.

And that, to Kenma, meant the world.

Underneath the blankets, Kenma intertwined his hand with Kuroo's. He didn't plan on letting go for a long, long time.

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