To See You Again [UWMA AU]

Chapter 40

Alone in the lighted up room, the two men meekly smiled at each other, Liam's face, not as welcoming as it had been before the New Years Eve event, but still more relaxed than the month before.

On his side, Dean's smile was a bit forced. He was tensed at the prospect of trying to talk to the handsome man once again. He was looking apprehensively at every little movement Liam was making.

Today was the day when they would assemble the last details together and put the strings on. After that nothing was left to do on the beautiful ebony instrument. Dean had learned so much during all this time and he would remember all those memories when he would play of this meaningful guitar. For now, he attentively listened to the last instructions said by the low and husky voice next to him.

Tuning the guitar, he let his fingers slide along the strings, a delightfully profound sound echoing in the empty club room. His heavy heart pushed him to play a bit longer, expressing his complex feelings through the music. His eyelid had instinctively closed while he played the somewhat sad song, forgetting about the man standing next to him.

It's only when he felt the guitar being taken away from his hand that Dean realised he was not playing anymore, sitting aimlessly on the high sized stool. Looking up, puzzled by the absence of his newly made instrument, he found two dark green orbs looking straight at him.

« The strings are probably not tender yet, don't overuse it or your fingers will bleed. » the deep voice said softly, responding to his silent question.

Humming, Dean evaded from the sight that was making his heart frantic. He wanted to talk with Liam but if he looked at him like that, he wouldn't be able to think straight.

« It's heartbreaking. »

The sentence called out Dean's sight back to the older man, once again lost by what the older man meant by this.

« The song you played, it's heartbreaking. » Liam clarified « What song is it ? »

« I ...I actually don't know. I just let my fingers play by themself, my head is a wreck. » shrugged Dean, not being sure of what to say.

« Meaning you probably played how you felt, didn't you ? » asked once again Liam, being uncharacteristically curious at that moment.

Dean furrowed his brows in wonder. Liam was acting strange. Not that he didn't like the change but he was curious to know what was the reason for it. Taking a deep breath, he reasoned that he might as well take the opportunity to say out loud what needed to be said and heard. He nodded, locking his eyes to Liam's.

« Why ? » the full lips of the chocolate haired man articulated.

Liam,who was standing next to him, moved to the high table, leaning on his side, giving his full attention to the younger man who now faced him.

« I ... » trying to conjure up all the arguments he had previously listed and opened his mouth « I like you. »

That was not what he wanted to say. Or rather what he planned to blurt out right at this moment. His eyes grew wide as saucers, surprised by his own boldness. Liam frantically blinked but didn't say anything.

« Arrrg, that's not what I had prepared ... » he grunted, face palming « I had so many things I wanted to tell you. So many things I had thought about, tried to understand from your standpoint ... »

Dean briefly looked away, tzking a deep breath, then back to the man still in front of him. He wasn't making sense, but Liam hadn't left. He was still here, letting him spill out his confused words, patiently waiting. It didn't mean much, it probably wasn't an acceptance of anything, but it still gave a tiny hope to the black haired man.

« I ... Since our talk last time, I ... had a lot of time to think about what you could feel and how you could perceive the whole reincarnation story. » seeing that he wasn't interrupted, he kept on « We grew up with different cultures. I know Yong Gi and Amber were not unfamiliar with the concept. But Lucy made me see that it wasn't an universally accepted theory. I realised that I never told you clearly how I felt about you and just went for the most alien thing directly. »

Liam stayed silent with his neutral face, looking attentively at his face, reading his emotions.

« So ... Yeah, here I am. » Dean let out in a breath, breaking their exchanged sight « No matter what, I like you. I wanted you to know that fact, even if it's not mutual. » he shrugged, meaning for his confession to have less importance for the older man, than it had for him.

Silence engulfed them, Liam not moving from his spot. Dean felt his temperature rise from embarasselent, his eyes looking for a way to leave. He was too stunned by his own boldness that he couldn't, for the life of him, look straight up. Fidgeting on his seat, his fingers playing with the aim of his nails, he was scanning his different options. Leaving ? Staying ? Grabbing his new guitar, he was ready to stand up when he froze on sight.

« It's confusing you know. » Dean's head jerked up, looking at the profil of the man standing in front of him « What is from the dream and what is real ? »

Before Dean could utter a sound, willing his mind to explain anything he could, Liam spoke again.

« To be completely honest with you ... » he trailed off « I don't believe in those dreams nor do I have them. And so when you told me about it, as if it was self-evident ... I was disappointed, angered and felt betrayed. »

Dean was awestruck by the confession. In all the different scenarios he had imagined to explain Liam's reactions, he had never, not even once, thought about this kind of reason. He closed his gaping mouth, his eyes trailing on the awkward face of the chocolate haired man standing before him. Liam scratched his bare nape, visibly uncomfortable but staying in place. The fact that he was willing to open up his heart, even just a little, melted Dean's own.

« Why did you feel betrayed ? » he prompted softly.

« I'm not the most social person, if you haven't noticed. » began Liam, a soft smirk formed Dean's lips « Yeah, I guess you know. Anyway, I like to keep things for me. Keeping people at bay is more comfortable too ... » hesitation was heard in his husky voice « But we got along naturally, were on much friendlier terms than I would have in such a short time, with anyone else and especially with a student or a club member. So saying that it was caused by a damn dream ... what do you expect me to feel, then ? »

The dark green eyes were looking at him, asking for his understanding, showing flashes of confusion. Dean's heart clenched to see the handsome and confident man in front of him, lost.

Lucy had been right all along. He had hurt the very man he wanted to cherish, even if it was inadvertently, it broke his heart. Without realising and before he could think of the possible consequences of his action, he stood up and walked closer to the Frenco-Korean man. Stopping at the last moment from hugging him, he went for his rough hands, gripping it, squeezing it, hoping that he could express his intention by the simple contact.

« I'm sorry. I am a jerk ... and a certified moron. » was all he could say.

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