First Letter

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I checked the radio clock for the 4th time which was now blinking on 2:45 am.
- « Dam it! I can' t sleep! » I muffled my cracked voice with a pillow.
My bedroom was still pretty dark and I hadn't opened my curtains in the last 48 hours. I could still feel the dampness on my forehead from tossing and turning since I had switched the TV on and off for the umpteenth time. I stayed on my back fixing the ceiling and wondered what exactly had happened. But it came back to me as a cannonball. Prince...is...was...I could not even make it to the end of my thought. My mind did not want to picture this impossible situation. I must have missed a train or been sleeping under a rock or both.
I rolled on my side and my mind started going nuts again. I looked angrily at the half empty sleeping pills container on my night stand. The reporters kept repeating Prince had passed alone in his elevator from an opioid overdose. Really? How? Something deep inside my soul refused to believe it. I had never seen him taking any kind of drugs or even seen any around him the whole time we were together. What had happened? Something must have went wrong in the matrix. He was far from all this crap. We all new his only drug was Music! Who introduced him to it ? Who was his doctor? Why was he alone? Something felt so off? I knew we had been strangers for so long since we had decided it would be better for both of us to part ways. I, nevertheless, had always kept him in the back of my mind. Whenever a new album, concert or Purple event was announced, my heart flipped with joy and appreciation witnessing his undying artistic productiveness and unprecedented smashing successes wherever he put out an appearance. It always put a huge smile on my face for some time and of course I would buy and rejoice myself whichever music piece he had dropped on the entertainment market. But, I had also foolishly promised myself to never see him playing live. Why? I can't recall.
I nonchalantly stretched my arm and reached the top drawer where I had kept a locked box with a few important personal belongings and correspondences from various past years. I unhooked the little key from my charm bracelet I hadn't worn in months. I then took out creased notes, stamped envelopes and spare jewelry I had also collected. My eyes focused on a particular bended light brown piece of stationary. My mind wasn't ready to go through this part of my past again but deep inside I knew it would somehow help me to feel better compared to how I actually was.

Dearest Carla,
👁 pray U are OK & that those few words find U well & safe. 👁 know U begged me not 2 write but it's way beyond my control. This was all so sudden & 👁 guess my selfishness has taken over. How are U?
👁' m totally aware U already went back 2 your home town 2 create your next choreography & get the last signature 2 sell your Dance Studio. May 👁 say how proud of U 👁' m every time 👁 watched U create & become so determined in building your professional universe. This is what attracted me to U at first sight. 👁 knew U would come out strong of your frail chrysalis & grew even more rooted the minute U would find your own track. These years by your side have been so beneficial for an individual who can be as frantic as 👁 . Was the feeling ever mutual? We had fun, didn't we? - Smirk -
👁 know U' ll remember us as living a very animated but somewhat tranquil life being a particular couple. U were a wonderful partner, expert lover and road trip buddy! -Wink Wink -
👁 so wish every little things we ever came up with or discussed will one day turn up into remarkable things I know you will create. I' m positive about it! 👁 must admit 👁 felt you slipping away as soon as we came back from Bermuda that summer. 👁 always had a hard time understanding why you didn't feel confortable living the Glamorous Life! Having said that, 👁 also would never dare to fight over it. So 👁 decided to let U go...Also, 👁' ll always remember U as a free spirit with an untamable flame. U' re more than a conqueror in Christ! Keep stepping out in faith and God will take care of you and bring you through anything that comes against you. U can & will win out over the world's hardest ways. Everytime...
Yes, before U even ask yourself, I'm already writing a song about U & Me. 👁 can feel it'll take me some time to fathom that US is really...Over. It's something that at some point 👁 would never have imagined but it happened nonetheless...Unpredictable? Maybe. Was I dumb? Or maybe a little too naive...Young at heart, I'll remain...💜 is blind they say? One thing is certain, 👁' ll truly miss the daisies in your yard...
2 show U how indisputably C.O.O.L we were as 1, let me offer U this Lavender Infinity Rose with a sprig of « Honesty », also known as « Violet of the Moon », with its translucent moons showing their treasures in the sunlight...

L we were as 1, let me offer U this Lavender Infinity Rose with a sprig of  « Honesty », also known as « Violet of the Moon », with its translucent moons showing their treasures in the sunlight

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Please, keep it close to your 💜.  It'll bring U whatever U wish 4 as long as your best intentions are well worded and casted onto the universe.
May U live 2 see the Dawn.
L.O.V.E.
Prince.
I smiled with trembling lips at my flower ornament and wiped a few heavy tears with the back of my hand. Some had already dried from previous readings while contemplating his hand writing. But this time they had a bitter taste and meaning. Prince was really...Gone. Only our memories remained. His legacy will live on. A lot of water had past under the bridge since the last time I had actually witnessed this part of my life with him. Many lessons learned, but yet more stories left untold.

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