All Because Of Him

sixty six.

Do something for him? He can't be serious. After everything the man standing in front of me has done he should be on his knees kissing my feet by now. And here he stands, having the audacity to try and negotiate terms just so he can hand me back my phone.

     My mind practically thinks at a hundred miles per second trying to figure out what he wants out of me. I'm sure whatever it is it involves me being naked somehow.

     "Let me guess, want me to strip naked and give you a lap dance or something?"

     His eyebrows furrow down at me, "What? No-"

    "Give me my phone back." I demand.

    I never ever put my foot down enough when it comes to him and I've had it. I've tried giving him the key to my heart so many times I've lost count, and each time I do he fumbles it, dropping it to the ground leaving me devastated.

      But not anymore.

     I look at my phone gripped in his large hands tightly and let out a heavy sigh, of course he would make things difficult.

     "Come to Freddie's with me." He says and I lift my gaze up at him.

     Okay... so, not entirely what I expected.

     "He keeps asking about you, wondering why you're never around anymore." He tries to reason with me, his voice soft and gentle.

     And his words send another dagger through my heart. Throughout my short time with Mason we'd go to Freddie's almost everyday. That was another thing that was hard to adjust to- changing routines without him.

    And I miss it like hell.

    But when I ended things with Mason I told myself that I couldn't let him drag me down anymore. I need to demand respect and I know I'll never get it from him. Just like I told him a week ago, we're bad for each other.

     We might not have been years ago before he left but we are now. The whirlwind of emotions he gives me oftentimes feels like too much for me to handle. And even though I miss it, him, everything, I know that I can't keep doing this to myself.

     Not until he gives me a good enough reason to.

    "Well be sure to tell him why that's the case. Now give me my phone." His face falls, a slight frown forming on his lips before it vanishes.

     I watch as he slowly relaxes his tight hand around my phone and extends it out to me. His actions surprise me, at first I half expected him to try and argue with me about it or give me the 'I wasn't asking' spiel but instead, he places it directly into my hand not giving me another word about it.

      Who knows, maybe he's just as tired as I am.

     I immediately shove my phone into my back pocket and dart past him, not saying another word. I hear him huff as I leave his side, his shoulders slumping and a puzzled expression creasing itself onto his face.

     The more strides I take the harder it seems, the tether I always imagined that was pulling us together is feeling tighter and tighter with each step I take.

     I'm not used to this, I mean sure, Mason and I have argued before. Plenty of times. But each time I would immediately jump at even the possibility of us being together. But this time I'm just tired.

     Tired of all of the stress, the tears, the unrecognizable feelings he gives me. This time, I have to let my mind take control and ignore all of the burning impulses my heart giving me.