The Power and the Glory

Book 2 Chapter III: Father and Son

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them. -- P. G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories

On the day of the festival Shizuki remained blissfully unaware of the dramatic events unfolding in other parts of the capital. He had his own equally dramatic events to contend with, even if they were slightly less likely to result in violence. For the first time in his life he had the opportunity to speak to his biological father.

It was very strange how someone could hope for something for years then discover once they got it that it really wasn't that important to them after all. Shizuki had wondered all his life what his father was like. Now that he had the chance to meet him, he found he was reluctant to find out.

After Ilaran told him about Koyuki's arrival Shizuki went to Siarvin for advice. If anyone would know what to do in a situation like this, surely it would be Siarvin. Like most children Shizuki couldn't quite comprehend the idea of their parent -- even if, as in this case, they weren't actually related -- being faced with anything they didn't know how to handle. Yes, Shizuki knew that Siarvin could be wrong sometimes. He wasn't aware of the full details of how his father had ended up married to someone as vile as Haliran. All he knew was that somehow she'd tricked him. Even so he was used to thinking of Siarvin as someone who could do almost anything he wanted to. So of course he would know the best course of action.

Siarvin just looked confused when he heard Shizuki's -- admittedly not easy to explain -- worries. "But I thought you wanted to meet your real father."

You're my real father, Shizuki wanted to say. This Koyuki person, whoever he was, could never really be his father. He was a stranger who happened to share Shizuki's blood. He hadn't protected him from Haliran or raised him for five hundred years. Siarvin had, so as far as he was concerned Siarvin was his real father.

But how could he put all that into words? It barely made any sense to him when he tried to sort it out in his mind.

"I do want to meet him," he said slowly, "but I... I'm scared."

Until that moment he hadn't fully realised it was fear that made him so uncertain about this meeting.

Siarvin nodded silently. He didn't ask why Shizuki was scared. Which was just as well, because Shizuki couldn't possibly have explained it. "You don't have to meet him, you know. At least not yet. You can wait until you're older."

That wasn't quite as comforting as he meant it to be. Shizuki, like most children, had heard variants of "wait until you're older" or "you can do this when you're older" far too many times to like hearing it again. Usually it was the excuse adults used to get out of awkward situations, like that time Shizuki spent a whole month trying to make the head cook give him dessert before dinner. He recognised that this wasn't exactly the same use of the phrase, but he still disliked hearing it.

"I'm going to see him," he announced with the determination of someone who'd change their mind if they gave themselves a minute to think about it.

Siarvin looked worried. He opened his mouth to say something, but Shizuki left before hearing whatever it was he meant to say.

~~~~

The city was a mass of people. A small boy would never have been able to get through the streets. Luckily Shizuki's snake form could sense where large groups of people were, and he instinctively avoided them.

On any other day a snake would never have been able to get into a hotel without being spotted. People tended to have strong opinions about reptiles in their rooms, and in the capital at least a hotel's security was usually the most stringent outside of a bank's or the palaces'.