Suicide Notes || Winter + JW and Others

Qibli

Oh, Qibli.

You know, I've been waiting to write your letter. Perhaps almost as much as Moonwatcher's. I've been a little secretive and reserved during my time at JMA, I do admit, but I'm not at JMA anymore. I'm nowhere on Pyrrhia. So I've decided that I'll write all my secrets here. I'll pour my heart out. You may be annoying sometimes, but you're my best friend. I know with all my heart that I can trust you. (Well, there's nothing to trust since I'm dead.)

Time to spill. Let's start with my childhood. You know that I was born royalty: the nephew of Queen Glacier herself. You also know I hated it: the stupid "circles" system, the rules, the expectations. And my family. Perhaps I hated them the most of all. Tundra and Narwhal, my parents, had such high and cruel expectations. Winter do this, Winter do that. No, that's not how you eat fish; you need to cut the tail off first. No, Winter, you need to be quicker and more agile if you want to successfully hunt a bear. Oh, those two words No, Winter, haunted me, day and night. I always heard them, one way or another, in all my dreams and nightmares. 

Now onto my siblings. Icicle and Hailstorm. I guess I wanted a lot of love from them because I gave up on my parents. I loved them with all my heart. I guess I still do now, but that's beside the point. And it was mostly the small things, really. Whenever we ate at the banquets, I was always the last one to serve myself. I always made sure there was enough trout to keep Hailstorm with a smile on his face. I would occasionally bring Icicle a glass of the wine Glacier selected that night. I don't know if they noticed, but I do know that it didn't help. Of course, Hailstorm or Icicle would occasionally, extremely rarely, do something not rude to me, but still. They made me hurt. They made me not believe in love anymore, wonderful love. (Until I met Moon, of course.)

So when my parents and Her Majesty sent my sister and me off here to Jade Mountain, I was more than excited. I mean, they probably did that to get rid of us, but hey, when you live in the Ice Kingdom, anything, even living amongst the scavengers in dens, seems appealing. It was such an abrupt change. I met so many new dragons from other tribes, most of which I hadn't ever seen before: I had only heard of the menacing NightWings and SkyWings in old tales and bedtime stories. It was so different. Of course, my stupid ass and I didn't know how to respond to that, having been taught that everyone should try to be of the highest IceWing standards and nothing below. So I guess now is the time to apologize to you for being so rude. Here I go: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that you had to go through everything I put you through. I'm sorry for being a racist bigot to you. You've done so much for me, and look how terribly I've repaid you. I'm so, so sorry. 

I hope you can forgive me and remember me and the (few) good things I've done. And one more thing: as for Moonwatcher? Make sure she remembers me, even if only as a friend. It's no secret I love her. I want her to know that she has done so much for me: she opened my eyes to the whole world and not only one tiny sliver. Tell her to save a little, only a tiny bit of space in her heart. But go be happy together: you're my best friend and I could want nothing more. Go get married and have dragonets. I love her, but she loves you and only you.

Wow, it's gonna be so hard to say goodbye to your charming charisma and cute freckled face and your delightful, annoying character. 

I'm sorry.

I care about you so much.

You mean so much to me.

I love you.

-Winter