2 | BROKEN INSIDE ME

CHAPTER 1

Forgive yourself.

A Thread

Tonight, just like another night before, you are getting ready to bed. Pillow under your head, and you pull the blanket.
Lights off. The moment you try to close your eyes, that "thought" creeps in.
You are in the dark again.

Your mind replays every single scene and you just can't escape. It's stuck in your head. It's a countless night with this routine.
That person, that moment, things you've said, things you've done.

You start to tremble. You feel so much pain in your chest, and it's just unbearable. Why can't it stop? It's tormenting. You're suffocated. You're crying, but no one can hear.
It's a silent scream.

You are consumed by this thought. You're feeling waves of emotion, and none of it was beautiful.
And you start to blame yourself for everything, again.
You are now, in your own personal hell.

If this hits you right now, I want you to take a deep breath, and release. You're doing great. Thanks for surviving another night.

But, you can't let it stay that way forever. You need to forgive yourself.

The resentment toward yourself needs to be stopped. You might do a lot of wrong things before, but if you are in a better place now, stop suffering the past. You don't live there anymore.

You need to let go of the anger, the weight of the guilt that you've been holding on to, for yourself. You can't change what has happened, but you can learn from it. It makes you, a better you.

You are dwelling on it because you are now aware of what is right and what is wrong. It has passed. You already made it. Tomorrow, you will wake up again and you need to go on with your life.

You need to move forward, but you won't be able to if you are tied to your past.

You have suffered enough.. Let go.. A better future is waiting for you. You deserve to be happy.
You see, we won't be always making the right decision in this life. That's just how life is. You learn and grow from your mistake.

Forgiveness takes time, but you are the one who owns it. If you can't forgive yourself, you won't be able to know how valuable forgiveness is.
Don't be too hard on yourself..

Trust me, everything will be okay. Everything will fall into place.

You got this.

—matnann

Edited
210621
12:13 pm