treasure imagines

bipolar - doyoung

" Let me go! "
I struggled to let go my wrist but it is so hard he hold it tightly.

" No you aren't going anywhere I wont let you go " Doyoung said coldly and stared at me.

" Stop it Dobby I can't do this anymore let me go " tears overflowing on my cheeks feeling the pain but deep in my heart I dont wanna go I want to stay

" I won't Y/N please.. Please stay you know I only have you... I'm sorry I'm really sorry I didn't mean it at all you knew it please... " his clench started to loosen on my wrist as he fell on his knees begging for me.

I can't I can't see him like this
" Stand up Dobby ,  its okay I'm sorry too it's my fault come on stand up and let me hug you " I grabbed his cheeks and pecked his forehead.

He stand up and pulled me in his embrace , burying his face on my shoulder
" D-dont e-ever leave-e me " he said as he still crying

" I won't , never I love you " I said and hug him

Flashback..

" you know that mom and dad never love you at all Doyoung "

Doyeon smirked as he looked at his little brother who completely going insane

Doyoung is a boy who never got love from his parents because they said he is crazy especially his father and sister Doyeon , at the age of 10 Doyoung was sent to mental hospital because he has a bipolar and he was depressed.

On that day people got him wrong they said he is crazy and his father was ashamed by that and never wants Doyoung to live with him but still his mother love him and never let Doyoung alone.

After 1 year 2 months treated in mental hospital he finally went back home and his mother decided to bought him a huge apartment for him at the age of 11 he lived alone only his mom visited him.

His mom can't stand her husband who always threaten his son and abused him sometimes so she decided to do it.

Doyoung was so used to be alone until he met 11 boys who became his gang and he get to know me. I lived in a same building of his apartment I usually heard people crying beside my place I was Doyoung's neighbor and I decided to get close with him even though it hard sometimes.

When we turned 18 he proposed me to be his girlfriend and I know Doyoung well he still has bipolar he might get mad insanely sometimes and I'm the one who comfort him. He never shout or hit me I'm glad , even in college life Doyoung and I still together and I couldn't deny we have been through so many things. Sometimes we fight too sometimes we don't even care about people around ans that is why he never want me to leave and I never want to.

Doyeon met him at the hospital because Doyoung was admitted to emergency he was unconscious last night but his sister came just to annoy him since she got all she needs different than Doyoung who only have his mother and his girlfriend.

I was out at the cafe buying some food for us but when I came back

Doyoung was in mad insanely
" Doyoung! stop it " I said

" No stop! " I hugged him from behind as he tried to broke the vase his fist was full of blood.

He pushed me and I fell I felt a lil bit sore on my ankle but I must stop him

" Kim Doyoung! " I shouted

" Stop! Leave! No one cares about me! I'm done let me go! " Doyoung started to scream as the doctor also tried to calm him but he cant.

He covered his ears with both of his hands and crying at the same time screaming.

But then his eyes landed on me who still on the floor he was shocked it feels like he just realized what he had done and what he had said.

I was crying seeing him like that I want him to be free but I'm tired too dealing with his bipolar.

As I grabbed I purse and started to walk he grabbed my wrist.

" Ouch! it hurts" he whined as I put some oinment on his hands.

" it's okay I'm done " I said as I grabbed the bandage for him.

As soon as I'm done I stared on his puffy eyes and rubbed his cheeks. He smiled at me

" I love you Y/N" he said softly
" I want to heal, wait for me " he said

As tears overflowed on my cheeks
" me too Doyoung I never want to leave "

I won't leave you...

These days I realize a lot of people getting pressure and depressed I know it's been a long time and some people ended their life with committing suicide.

It happens to me too I admit that I'm completely depressed and broke person but I have no idea of commiting suicide I used to think that die is better I used to find a way to kill myself I used to try... Yes even right now I dont feel I'm heal. I'm also used to be ignored by my family & friends and dealing with anxiety,pressure and so on because why? I cant accept myself the way I am I can't accept the fact that I can't do it even I tried so hard. I also hating myself for being too nice to people I put my problems beside and start caring about the others I swear I was being sincere but what did I got nothing at all after telling me they aren't okay they'll left. It sucks right? I hate myself for not being good enough in study seeing my friends did well and my sister did well in their study make me feel pressure too while me? I don't  have any idea I just feel sad because I am Me

But how did I handle this?
I just start finding myself
I realize who am I and what kind of life I have and I start to live the best I can. I don't do well on my study but I didn't quit study I might be down sometimes but I don't want end it I decide to rise again and fall and rise. I rise until I fall and rise again , I start thinking of good things that happened in my life and I realize I should be grateful to Almighty and show gratitude because God create us in our own way and unique. We have different type of  talent and life but our concept are same. We face the same hardship but different way and situation thats why when someone said something that happen in their lives we might be relatable so we have to be strong mentally and physically.

Let's start love our life and ourselves it is easy to say love yourself but it is the hardest thing to do so we have to begin from down. Start be grateful and find yourself.

Instead of wanting to die human actually want to be noticed and care.

If you say no one cares about you, you're wrong what is the purpose of our creator to create us if he didn't care at all. He nevet leave us we are the one who leave him so I believe we have our own religion so pray every lil things dont forget to pray.

Life is too short to be unhappy
We live to kill ourselves? No
We live to makes our lives better so when we die one day it is good memories to remember for our soul.

STAY SAFE STAY HYDRATED ON THIS QUARANTINE STAY MOTIVATED NEVER THINK YOU ARE ALONE NEVER DOWNGRADED YOURSELF! OKAY! Ily! See ya soon! 😘

~~ authornim