Bowling Dreams & Cheap Wine

Chapter 8

"We're not letting you quit," Lisa declares, holding both my mini bottles hostage. My frantic gaze is directed at the Pinot Noir in her hand.

Steph nods vigorously next to her. Her brown eyes are alive with concern. "This isn't about you."

"But she was asking him out," I lay out my case. "Are you telling me you guys want to go through with this knowing she'll probably be engaged to him by Christmas?"

"I don't see a ring yet," Steph says so loud that the Spares look over at us with curious gazes.

"I agree with Gwen." Dianna throws in her opinion while pouring her wine into the glass. "But I don't want to see the MUFFs win either. Look at them." "Do they even know that Muffs is slang for something else?" Steph and Dianna snicker like two girls laughing during church and can't stop.

We turn and watch the photo session. The underdogs taking in the sight of the winners. They have stepped up their team spirit by wearing matching t-shirts with the words Proud to be a Muff printed across their backs. Someone from Lane 4 is taking their photo.

Lisa points a hard finger at me. "You're not getting out of this."

My lack of confidence rolls in like a barge through the fog. "You guys didn't see them last night. Her daughter's the same age as his. They would be an instant family. I watch commercials for facial hair removal and I don't own a single piece of lingerie."

Steph perks up. "Are you talking about E-Z Hair Off?"

Dianna nods seriously. "It's a lifesaver. You haven't ordered one?"

Steph angles her jaw. "I'm on the fence. Do you see the hair?"

Dianna squints and has Steph angle her face higher up. "It's there. I'm sorry. It's happening. The she-beard."  

In a heartbeat, Steph is on her phone. "It's $29.95?" She frowns. "I've already wasted sixty dollars on the miracle boob lift." We all look at her chest. "It didn't work."

"Ahem," Lisa reigns the self-improvement camp back into focus. "I don't care if TARA CHEATS," she shouts, causing a disruption in the MUFF's excitement taking place in Lane 3. They look over here, their gazes sharp. "We're not quitting!" Lisa puts the two mini bottles within my reach. "Just promise us you won't bow out and this wine is all yours."

I snatch the wine. "I'll do it. Just know that I don't have a shot."

"Let's say we actually listened to your concerns for a minute." Tamara speaks up for the first time. She's been unusually quiet which concerns me. "Things aren't always what they seem. Look at me and Arnie."

I'm about to ask her if everything is okay when Paul dims the lights and kicks off our session with The Humpty Dance.

I go first tonight and pick up the ball, waiting for one of the Spares to go. Basic bowling etiquette says you don't bowl with the person in the next lane taking a turn.

Everyone gets two rolls and my turn is pathetic. The first roll starts out too far to the left and I don't knock down a single pin. The second roll is far worse, the dreaded split pins down the middle. I have 8 pins down, but one on the far right and one on the far left, both of which I miss. My foot kicks the reset button and I enter my score. Even more pathetic. 

Steph's putting in an order for something deep fried and Lisa's at the Spare's table, catching up with a friend. Dianna is staring down the pins like it's a grass stain on a white shirt. "How was your week?" I ask Tamara and take my seat next to her.

Tears hover in her eyes and she blinks as if holding them in. "Tamara?"

"Arnie wants to move out for good. He wants to officially file for divorce."