Suvan One Shots

Move On

There were festivities in the air, loud music, laughter and the smell of food wafting through the neighborhood and why not , after all the eldest daughter of the Tiwari's, Suman Tiwari had finally agreed to take a step ahead in her relationship and get engaged to her long-time friend Vikram. It was a win-win situation for all , Kanchan was happy to see her two favourite people coming together, Beena chachi would finally be able to sell the house, Ramesh Chachu will not have to play a muted judge between his wife and niece, Damru will be able to spend some time with Jhumri who would come in to help with the preparations and Veer who would have some unplanned holidays from school. The only person for whom everything was lost today and who sat in the corner of the Tiwari terrace looking up at the clouded sky in a moonless night was Captain Shravan Malhotra. He had swung between love and hate for Suman since he had met her and finally admitted that he loved her till eternity and that could not change ever.

Shravan's POV:

So, why am I sad today, I asked myself as I was the one who egged Suman to move on with Vikram. I made all nasty comments on her being boring, not being hot and bold enough and then had hugged a stranger Sophie and stuck to her as if I had been in love for ages. I had made everything I could to push Suman over the edge. Isn't this I wanted so why am I not part of the celebrations and sulking in a corner? I laughed at myself and my thoughts, I had thought Suman would think I had moved on in life with Sophie and she too would move on with Vikram. I always thought Suman never needed to verbalize her thoughts to me and I could understand always what was on her mind. I could see she was struggling to move on and with me around it was making it more difficult for her to do so. I have always kept her needs, her happiness first before myself and I could not see her in crossroads, so I decided to make her free but as she grew closer to Vikram it started to haunt me. It's a weird thing but I wanted her to move ahead but not without acknowledging me, talk to him and smile with him but not get cozy with him. It was as if I had grown selfish in love where I wanted to dictate the terms of her relationship with someone else. It was as if I was pretending to be happy to see her move ahead but in some corner of my heart I wanted her to still come back to me and say "There can be no one but you and you are the only one I want to be with ever after". I was a mess with my feelings sometimes it would want me to let you go free and charter your own path Suman, and sometimes my heart would stop when I would see you close to Vikram and it would say no you are mine and you cannot be with anyone else, to touch you, to feel you is my birth right. I am aware of the confused signals that I was giving you sometimes lashing out at you, sometimes making fun of you to sometimes being warm and caring about you but I thought you would know what I wanted to say the way I know what you want to say. Alas!! You never heard what my heart wanted to say and you finally broke free and declared that you were ready to get engaged to Vikram. Tomorrow is your engagement and I must admit that I cannot see the moment when you are officially declared as his and the call from my motherland could have come at a more apt moment. I have decided to leave tomorrow very early in the morning, so I do not have to face anybody and explain about my sudden exit. I will go as I had come suddenly unwanted into your life Suman and erase everything that was there, so you don't have any remains of your past. With a heavy heart I will leave you in your own happy world and carry with me the memories of our love, no sorry my love for you. I could not hold myself anymore as I covered my face with my palms and broke down in sobs in a dark corner where nobody would bother to look and anyways probably nobody cared that I was missing from the celebrations. I will be gone before you wake up and everything will be back to where it was before I came intruding Humari adhuri kahani.....

Suman's POV

Everyone seemed to be happy but something deep inside me felt heavy and it did not let me enjoy the happiness around me. It was in a long time I found people happy in my family , but I was unable to soak in it as my eyes kept darting towards the closed door of Captain Shravan Malhotra, my Shravan. Was he still my Shravan? I have been so confused over the past few weeks I seem to have lost the equilibrium of my mind. Sometimes he would behave as if I was his whole world and if anything mattered to him it was my happiness. There would be a skip in my step the whole day and I would smile and feel mushy throughout and the next day it would just be the opposite. Shravan would flaunt his closeness with Sophie in front of me and I would feel like the third wheel between them. Sometimes I would think that he wants to spite me because he feels I have given his place to Vikram but then I always thought I never had to verbalize things for him, and he could see through me. I was tired of him blowing hot and cold, I was tired of trying to convey to him that he matters to me, his care matters to me. Today with a heavy heart I had finally decided to move on with Vikram because it had seemed to me that that was what he wanted so be it, anyways his happiness is what I wanted. I might never be able to give Vikram the same place in my heart as I have no place left for anyone else there apart from Shravan. I am not sure if it would be injustice to Vikram but I pledge to do all my duties as a wife, but the heart is always going to beat for Shravan. I am not sure how long I can carry on this facade but will if it lasts and the day it all comes out maybe I will be totally free.

Tomorrow is a big day for me but instead of being happy, I was sad and restless. The digital clock on my bedside clocked 4am in the morning and I had not slept a wink as I kept listening to the gusty winds blowing outside in tandem with the state of my mind which was in a mess right now. I am sure I felt angry and frustrated with the dick head Shravan. Why does he not understand what I feel for him? I curled up my fingers into my palms forming a tight fist and all I wanted to was punch the handsome face of my Shravan to make him see sense in not flaunting that stupid Sophie but to acknowledge each other's feelings but yesterday evening was heights when I lost the count of times he hugged that stupid female making me think that he literally wanted to push me out of his life. I will give him what he wants, I will move on with Vikram if he thinks that will make him happy and move on with Sophie. With conflicting thoughts, I never realized that I had drifted off to a slumber with the sound of soft footsteps coming from downstairs. I woke up dreaming that Vikram was trying to kiss me and that freaked me out. I realized that I had to break off this engagement.My love was complicated but Vikram need not bear the brunt of it , I could not spoil another human being's life just because I cannot cope of with my feelings for a certain someone. With determination to make that idiot see some sense I walked into his room as usual without knocking and the first thing that hit me was it being devoid of all mess. I loved everything about him including his messy habits and I would always spar with him but secretly I love that he did not change it because it defined him. I could smell him a woody , musky cologne and I took a deep breath inhaling his scent and let it wash over me. But where was the person in question? Empty cupboards, empty washroom , room devoid of all paintings. A sudden feeling of void seem to engulf me as I started feeling dizzy and rushed to hold on to the bed and then I found the message. A beautiful package lay on the bed covered in my favorite shade of blue and as I quickly opened it, out fell the contents of it. An orange towel, a few of my notes and sketches, a few hairpins, a card on his birthday and every little thing of mine which had landed with Shravan over the years and every little thing that he had treasured for years. He had literally taken out every imprint of me from his life and left......A little note lay at the bottom of the package and I lifted it to find dried tear drops on the note, a clear evidence that he had been crying when he wrote this. I broke down with tears flowing unabashedly as I clung to the packet trying to take in every touch , every smell of him as I re-read the truth in his note "Humari Adhuri Kahani..."