Red vs Blue: Planetary War

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Tucker watches Simmons working on a console as Wash walks up.

Wash: What is all this?

Simmons: It's the future.

Tucker: Where the hell have you been?

Wash: Napping.

Tucker: What?! How come you get to fucking nap and I have to worry about fixing a goddamned radio?! Kan nearly cut off my head for napping! Why didn't you help me?

Wash: I thought you didn't need me protecting you, Tucker.

Simmons: Hey, guys. I'm trying to revolutionize the world of inter-canyon communication. So if you could keep it down that'd be great!

Wash: What is he talking about?

Simmons: I'm talking about... the internet!

Simmons stands up and reveals the new "Simmons" search engine.

Computer: Welcome!

Tucker: Oh my god! Everybody leave! Everybody leave right now! There's something I've gotta do.

Wash: The internet?

Tucker: Seriously. You're gonna see some shit if you don't leave.

Simmons: Well, it's not really the internet. The only two points of communication are Red and Blue base.

Tucker: (disappointed) Why would you lie to us like that?

Tucker was holding a box of tissues and a bottle of vaseline and dropped them, plainly.

Wash: You put one of these at Red Base too?

Simmons: Yeah. I had to sneak past Slade, but it was totally worth it.

Wash: Why?

Simmons: Behold!

Simmons taps a button on the computer and the "Basebook" homepage appears.

Wash: Basebook?

Simmons: Yeah. It's a site that lets you post pictures, videos and even text posts so that your friends always know what you're up to. It's revolutionary!

Wash: Revolutionary? The first social media sites were created hundreds of years ago.

Tucker: And there are no friends in this canyon. Only forced acquaintances.

Simmons: Yeah, but those old sites just turned into amogarations of attention whores. Nothing but teenagers who wanted to prove they were cool and old people who wanted to prove they were still relevant.

Tucker: So what's the point of Basebook?

Simmons: Oh, y'know. Just wanna keep in touch with my friends on the Red team while I'm your prisoner. Can't let them forget about Ol' Simmons! Ha ha he, huh ha ha he, (crying)

Wash: Well... I'm glad you spent your time in captivity on something meaningful.

Tucker: So you made it. What now?

Simmons: Well, let's see what Sarge is up to.

Simmons checks the computer.

Simmons: Uh huh. Hmm. Hasn't set up his profile yet... That's cool. Umm I'll just wait for an update. He has to have an update.Yeah I'm sure It'll come eventually. Huh. Updates. He he ha, he he...