make me stay.

eleven

♜

"the king?"

"only the king has that ability. he can take on your eyes, watch from your point of view, whenever he pleases." she says, as she continues backwards, not caring for any objects in her ways.

"why would he do that?" i question, walking towards her.

"because they're locking down the castle." she says. "they're looking for someone." she pauses, seemingly taken aback. "they are looking for you." she looks me up and down with a mixed expression on her face. 

i swallow, awaiting her reaction. would she freak out? ask a million questions? run to tell someone?

"you are not just one of his girls, are you?" she asks. 

every word slips out of my mouth, as i forget how to think. the king has 'girls', apparently, not that it should come as any surprise. the king. the most powerful male in the entire kingdom. any girl, person even, would be seen as honourable if they even had gotten close enough to the king to see him.

"no," i shake my head. i wouldn't be one of anything, really. 

"figured," she chuckles shortly. "usually, they aren't in such a hurry to leave. he's always the one to kick them out, and it doesn't always go down quietly."

"quietly?" i frown. 

"they cry, scream, whatever creates any reaction from the king." she shrugs, before taking in a deep breath, and meeting my eyes in a frozen stare. "he used your eyes to find you, and it won't take them long, i assure you. we have more guards inside the castle than spread out over the mountain in total."

such a shock. protect the king, leave the rest for themselves. because if the king is attacked, then who will be left to protect the empty mountain when everyone has been eaten by the starving outer-ring? i hated this mountain, and it did not help being inside the roots of it all. 

i nod, feeling my head get heavier with each word. where had this entire week gone so incredibly wrong? still, i felt my heart sink as my thoughts kept running back to the so-called 'girls' of the king. did his men... no.

i hadn't seen mercer in almost two years, and it had been hard enough to not see him. now, knowing he was inside these walls made everything even harder, somehow. i couldn't know for sure, but one way or the other, he had landed himself a spot here. as my parents had expected, he probably received his letter and had moved the next day, despite the fact that you weren't expected to leave instantly. he had had time to say his goodbyes if he had wished to, but he hadn't. he hadn't done it, he hadn't wished to. he hadn't even said goodbye to his grandparents.

he worked for the king, and that was attractive enough on paper. he had probably already found his other half. he had turned 20 last month, and it usually didn't take long after people adjusted to their letter life to find their soulmates.

my heart felt heavy, as it ached behind my ribs. the thought hurt, the thought of someone else loving him, and especially him loving someone else. it had been so long, it would be ignorant to assume or even hope that he hadn't gotten close another girl since we last saw each other. the last time i knew that he really loved me. if he ever actually did. 

how can you just leave someone you truly love? how can you stay away from them like it was the simplest thing in the world?

i think the hardest thing had been not knowing. it still was, despite founding a few answers. where had he gone? what was he doing now? why had he left? what had happened? was he happy now? would he come back?