coffee girl

departure

i was the first one awake the next morning, which is surprising because well-jet lag, i did end up sleeping fairly early though.

i sat up on the couch, stretching a little. i yawned and checked the time on my phone, sighing that i woke up so early.

i was planning to leave in the evening, so i could at least be there if we did anything fun during the day.

i heard someone moving around and looked over to see karl was awake too, he was texting someone and from what i could see it was niki.

"morning" i said quietly.

he looked at me and went back to texting her.

i immediately got up and walked to the bathroom, silently cussing myself out for even getting this far into the situation. i stared at myself in the mirror as i tried to hold back tears.

maybe my mom was right about how i can always be so easily replaced, maybe she was right when she left me for a new family.

maybe she was right when she said no one will ever love me.

i was upset about him ignoring me all day yesterday but now, he's actually genuinely STRAIGHT FOWARD ignoring me? i was just hoping to start even the slightest of a conversation.

"this is all my fault" i muttered to myself as tears rolled down my face.

it was my fault for getting caught up in this, for being so trusting, for traveling to london after only knowing this dude for a few weeks.

truly, what was i doing?

i walked out of the bathroom, trying to hide the fact that i was crying. i saw that george, wilbur, and nick were all awake now. they were chatting in the kitchen as they ate breakfast with karl.

"oh good morning y/n" will called out to me.

"good morning!" i smiled and waved, trying to mask all of my emotions.

i couldn't ruin this for everyone right now, it's george's birthday celebration-not a cry fest for me.

"i need to talk to you about something. backyard?" will said to me. i could see karl suddenly get tense.

"uh yeah sure" i sluggishly walked to the back door and followed will out.

"are you okay?" is the first thing he asked once the door was closed.

"i'm okay" i tried to smile but tears welled up in my eyes.

"that doesn't look like someone who's okay" he hugged me.

"karl is full on ignoring me, what did i do wrong?" i quietly cried.

"you did nothing wrong, i don't know why he's acting like that" he sighed.

"i just wanna leave already" i cried.

"if you want i can book you an uber to the airport right now? i'll tell the others you felt sick and needed to go home early" he said.

"that would be great. thank you wil" i sniffled as i wiped my eyes.

"of course, i don't want you to feel uncomfortable here" he smiled.

we went back inside and i could feel the burning stare of karl. i walked right past him and started to pack stuff into my backpack. after a few minutes, i was done packing the few things i brought.

"ubers here" wilbur walked over to me and said quietly.

"okay...thank you! genuinely, thank you so much" i gave him one last hug.

"don't worry about it, text me when you get to the airport okay?" he asked.

"alright see you" i nodded and walked out the door, getting into the uber.

going to the airport had such a solemn feeling. it also made me realize how crazy i am for being in this situation in the first place. talk about a waste of money.

i sighed as i slowly sank into a deep sleep, a rock radio station quietly playing in the background as the driver hummed to it.

a two hour drive to the airport, in which i took a nap for the whole time because i didn't want to think of how depressing my life is.