Tainted Love (bxb)

Chapter 58 - Wolf boy

Riley stared at me, not believing he had just said that himself. That he had actually...heard a voice. He heard a voice, that had spoken to him and...it wasn't me. It wasn't Dixon, I knew that much. And Riley didn't have a link to anybody else in the pack. Just me. He looked scared and rightfully so, as I stared at him, not believing this had just happened myself. I wasn't sure what this meant, even though it really could just mean one thing, but first, before dealing with that, I needed to calm my mate. So I quickly took his face between my hands, scooting closer to him to make him look at me. 

"Riley? Riley hey, its ok, don't- its nothing to be scared of or freak out about, don't think about it for now, I hear your rapid heartbeat and I need you to calm down first, ok? Just listen to my voice and relax" I instructed and Riley looked at me, trying to concentrate and maybe tell himself that freaking out was not the way to go right now and that he needed to calm down or else he would get another panic attack and he didn't want that. But it was very difficult for him and so I said "Just concentrate on my touch baby, come on, you can do it, I believe in you" 

It was my way of trying to help Riley. Sawyer used the Rubik's cube, Lynn a color book and Riley told me that one day, I would find my way of helping him as well. And I think I had found it. My touch. Because the electric tingling we always felt when connecting our bodies and skin, it was strong enough to at least try and get Riley's undivided attention. I let one hand stay on his cheek, cupping it, while I let my other run over his chest, trying to sooth it, while I send him my love and support through the link and Riley was able to close his eyes, trying to take deep breaths. 

I felt so bad...after all, this was my idea. Well it was Riley's wish, but I told him, that we could do it and that it was fine and harmless and look where it got us! I should have called it off the second I saw how nervous he was, so much so, that he had to throw up beforehand. Riley took deep and shaky breaths and slowly he calmed down a bit, while his fear of what had just happened didn't leave him completely. "Thats good Bambi, you are doing so well!" I said, supporting him and Riley's features softened, as the tense terror left his body and made room for the simply fright he had just gotten. 

"Asher" he whimpered when he was ready, leaning forward and I immediately opened my arms, letting him fall against my chest, hiding there, as I caged his head, protecting it because somehow I understood, that my mate was suddenly afraid of his own mind, which he couldn't escape. I kissed his hair, slightly rocking us back and forth and Dixon whimpered in my head, afraid and sorry that he had caused this, but I assured him, that it wasn't his fault. Neither one of us wold have ever imagined that this..that Riley.... 

"T-There was a voice Asher! There was somebody inside my head and it wasn't you and I- was t-that my- do I have an inner wolf??" he asked, pulling away to look at me, completely overwhelmed. He had fists full of my shirt, making me look at him and there were some tears in his eyes, but I knew he wasn't sad, he was scared and didn't know how to deal with any of this yet. I brushed over his head, trying to give my mate some of my calming energy again as his heart rate stared to pick up once more and I didn't want the terrifying spiral of panic to start again. 

"I don't know Riley, it could be. But you seem scared and actually, you shouldn't be scared of your inner wolf" I said and Riley shook his head, as if he didn't want to believe my words. But when he looked at me and I could see through his teary eyes, that they were glowing in an emotion different from fear and I realized, that I had misinterpret his emotions. Yes he was terrified, but not in a bad way apparently.

"I'm....I'm not scared of that voice. It was so soft...so shy. I'm terrified, because of what this means. I-I don't know that much about inner wolfs. I know and love Dixon and I met Pax's wolf once, b-but what would that mean for me?? Would I be sharing my body with another person?? Would I be losing control??" he asked and now I realized, that he was not terrified of that voice he had heard, that it sounded scary or angry, no, he just didn't even know if he even wanted an inner wolf.