Shinobi Isekai!

Doctor-Patient Confidentiality

Kakashi peered over steepled fingers at Jiraiya, the Great Toad Sage, last loyal Sannin, a growl growing in his chest as he regarded the older man with open anger and disdain. He was leaning over the top of the Hokage's desk, the dark wood creaking under the weight of his fury. To one side, Inoichi Yamanaka stood stoic, hands clasped behind his back as he, too, glared at the pale author.

"Jiraiya-sama," Kakashi said lowly, taking great pleasure in watching him try and fail to hold his one-eyed gaze. "Want to tell me why two minutes in your presence sent my kid into a full blown panic attack? I could have sworn you said you were only going to ask her, and I quote, 'a few harmless questions'." Kakashi had adopted a smile out of habit, but he dropped it then. "Explain."

The taller man was actually sweating, if his nose was to be believed, and not for the first time he reveled in the power his borrowed chair gave him. He still hated sitting in it, but it was nice being the one causing the discomfort for a change.

"I was going to bring this up after the exams," Jiraiya said, reaching up to scratch at the back of his neck with a grimace.

"The exams are over."

He scowled at Kakashi. "Don't interrupt, you brat." His anger drained out of him along with the color from his face. "Oh, I am too old for this."

With that, he plopped a manilla folder down onto the desk between them. Kakashi flipped it open, eye skimming over the contents. "What am I looking at?"

"A paternity test—two actually. One for the chibi-chan and one for her mother."

Kakashi readback over the list of numbers, their meaning still escaping him. "And? I hope you're not trying to prove she isn't mine, Jiraiya-sama."

He scoffed. "No, brat, she's mine."

What.

He and Inoichi exchanged wide eyed looks of incredulity before turning them onto the Sannin who crossed his arms and huffed.

"Her mother was, anyway. I had no idea until chibi-chan approached me about a mastery in fuuinjutsu. She looks almost exactly like an old...liaison of mine, so I asked her about it. She had no idea what I was talking about, but she let slip that her mother's name was Rin."

That set a ping off in Kakashi's heart. He cocked his head in confusion, burying the grief that name always summoned. "That can't be right. She told everyone her mother's name was Ochako when she was first accepted into the village."

Jiraiya's expression soured further. "I know. That's what I asked her about, when she—you know." He waved his hand around in the air wildly. "That isn't the point, though! That kid," he said over Inoichi's protests that it was the point, thank you very much. "Is from Kiri."

Kakashi leaned back in Sarutobi's chair. "So?"

Jiraiya's eyes widened almost comically. "What do you mean, 'so'? The kid lied about that, what else could she be hiding?"

Inoichi sighed long and hard, pinching the bridge of his nose in an effort to rein in his temper. "Jiraiya-sama, how much do you actually know about Hanako-chan? Because," he continued, ignoring Jiraiya's snide more than you apparently with a tranquility Kakashi admired. "I can tell you now that your 'harmless question' definitely did more harm than you were expecting." He looked to Kakashi for permission, which he gave with a wave of his hand. "Hanako Hatake suffers from Imposter Syndrome, due in no small part to the lies we already knew she was telling."

"You see, Jiraiya-sama," Kakashi interjected, a smile on his face if not in his voice. "Hanako never made any claims to know where she was from. She had a convenient head injury to thank for any blanks in her story, but a totally blank slate would have raised more questions than not. The answers she did give were suspect and unverifiable, with a few of them proving inconsistent. All of this laid the groundwork for a plausible spy. The Hokage," he did not stumble on that title, no he didn't. "Gave her into my care in the hopes that either I or my dogs could ferret out her true loyalties."