CHAPTER 42: VANTABLACK KANSAS

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The floor was cruel and cold beneath my cheek.

I opened my eyes to a shifting blackness, a void that moved and breathed around me, soon giving way to shape and form as my eyes adjusted to the gloom.

Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore, Ghost Tom whispered in my ear.

He always used to say that. It had become one of those in-jokes that repeated on a loop throughout our whole relationship. Jokes, phrases, words, so many things to tie us together, things that only we would say. A thread of familiarity that excluded everyone else and that only belonged to us. His and mine. Ours.

What was ours now? What belonged to us? What belonged to me?

Whereas once I had certainty, now I only had confusion. Now I only had betrayal and broken memories.

I remembered them – Tom and Lena. The Great Hall. Everyone looking up. The sound of the Grey army getting closer and closer. And the orbs, so consuming in their brightness, so... alien. What the Hell were those things?

You know.

But I didn't. I didn't. How could I?

I pushed myself to sit up, rubbing my fingertips together and feeling an oily sheen on my skin. Tentatively, I reached down and touched the floor again, recoiling as I felt the slickness on the surface, and I wiped my hands on my shirt to try and remove whatever residue was there. It didn't work. My hands still felt oily, like I could wash and wash and it would never come off.

Wherever I was, the floor, walls and ceiling were all the same, made from some strange rock-like material that wasn't smooth like metal. Instead, the surface was bumpy and slick, like an underground cave, and dark – so dark – until I saw the blackness shift again close to my feet, which I withdrew quickly, pulling them in tight to my body. Nothing crept out of the darkness to grab me, instead, whatever it was swirled and snaked onto the wall behind me, climbing under the surface until it reached the ceiling. I spied another and this time, leant forward as much as I could bear, straining my eyes to try and identify it.

It was a light. Dull and muted, but a light nevertheless, moving under the surface, swirling and shifting, turning what was black to a dark indigo. The darkness wasn't moving at all, not that it reassured me about my situation, but I was at least glad to know I wasn't imprisoned here with something moving in the shadows. It was just me.

Me. Evie. Evie.

I climbed to my feet and stood there for a moment, feeling shaky and unsteady. I wanted to block everything out. All of it. The stench of blood. The softness of a shattered skull. The face of a man I could barely remember. The dead eyes of a woman I'd fought to forget. A woman standing by a canal, emptying a small box of belongings into the dark water. Tom's heels hammering against the ground. His muted cries. Tom. Tom. Always Tom.

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