The Time It Takes To Fall

Twice

USA, 2019 A.D

"You will have ten chances— ten lives— to find your dear Selene and make her fall in love with you again."

Kai buried his head in his hands, the words swimming around in his mind like the blasted koi that had surrounded him as the words had originally been uttered. He couldn't get them to abandon him— not after all that had happened.

"With each life, however, she will appear somewhere new, and you must search for her. You must find her, make her fall in love with you, and marry her."

Tears fell from Kai's eyes, salty as the ocean that would be his home for the rest of eternity. He had failed— Cinder did not love him. He would spend all of forever as a slave to the Blue Koi. He would be a servant to death.

"If, after your ten chances to win back your love you fail, you must spend the rest of eternity as one of my own— a slave of death, if you will."

He couldn't believe that this had happened. After all the years of work— all his time loving Selene with his whole heart— it was over. He had failed; she truly didn't love him as he had thought she did.

In all his years of searching for his dearest love, he had never stopped to consider that perhaps their love wasn't as strong as he believed it to be— that it could have possibly been one-sided. But how else could they have come to this ending so many times if Selene's soul was not as fond of his as he was of hers. It made no sense.

"Why must it always be so painful," Kai moaned, scrubbing at his face with the heel of his hand. He felt cold for the first time in centuries, as if his very veins were filling with the icy water of Blue's home— as if his immortality were already fading away.

"No," Kai whimpered. He clutched at his wrist, digging his fingers into the final blue koi— the one that swam faster than all the rest, as if afraid of something behind her. Kai had always found the final koi to be odd— unusual. It was like a box of chocolates, all of the sweets made from the same mold save for one. He had always gazed at the final koi with a curiosity from the time there had been ten— all the rest had been varying shades of the same design, but this one was absolutely terrified.

He tried to scratch it away, but his nails made no harm upon his skin. He could perform no injury upon himself just as it had been for the past four hundred years— but he felt little relief in this fact. The loss of pain was not a blessing in his eyes— it was just another layer demonstrating how cursed he actually was.

Curling in upon himself, Kai cried senselessly for what felt like hours. It was that same kind of crying he had performed upon her death every single time. The tears came endlessly, as if Kai was filled with the very ocean he would soon be damned to.

He wasn't entirely sure what would happen to him once Cinder died, but he was sure it would not be pleasant. Perhaps he would be turned into that screaming koi upon his arm, forever cursed to swim. Or maybe he would be a slave to the Blue Koi in helping her with others like himself— following those also granted the ten reincarnations, or whatever she allowed them. If that were the case, he vowed to help the poor people just as Blue had aided him.

Kai would offer advice— travel everywhere with them. He could be a translator for the poor soul if their lover spoke a new language. He could tell them how to do it all— teach them from his own mistakes.

There had been a time when he'd wondered how Blue managed to look after all the many people who'd been given second chances like himself. He'd dreamt up henchmen, carrying out her will all over the world. What with the veil and mysterious air, Kai could have had a different companion each time he found Selene in a new life. For all he knew, the woman who came to him was never the same.