Being Alive: A The Queen's Gambit Story

Chapter Six

For all their weeks in Kentucky, Benny and Beth hadn't discussed returning to New York besides the tense conversations before he visited her high school chess students. After that, the conversation seemed to be tabled and Beth had been reluctant to bring it up, not wanting to push them into choppy waters, and also, somewhat selfishly, not wanting him to leave. Part of her was always afraid that if they went back to New York, he would never come back, just like she could never stay. But one morning, New York is pulled squarely back into focus when Benny says, "I have to go out there for a few days. I should be back by Monday."

"Is everything okay?" she asks gingerly.

"It's my mom. My brother called and said she's been having some problems recently. So, I'm going to go down there and try to sort it out."

Beth realizes that for all the time she'd known Benny, he hadn't mentioned his family before. She wonders then if it was because she never asked, and whether she was supposed to. She also notices that he didn't ask her to come with.

"Okay." She hesitates before she asks, "Do you want me to go with you?"

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea."

His words hurt more than she expected and she crosses her arms over her chest. "Oh, okay."

"It's not that I don't want you there."

"You sure? Because it sort of sounds that way."

Benny's face softens and he says, "Beth, you should know by now that there isn't anywhere that I don't want you with me."

"Then why is my going with you a bad idea?"

"The reason my brother called is to stage an intervention. My mom's an alcoholic."

Benny never mentioned this before, not even back during her drinking. She thinks then of how difficult it must have been to hear what was happening to her. Maybe it was better that he was out in New York then. She'd seen the haunted look in Harry Beltik's eyes when he saw her and spoke of his own alcoholic father.

"I can handle it," she says.

"I don't want to put too much on you."

"You couldn't," she says. "You've been there for me, Benny. Time and time again, you have been there for me. Let me be there for you."

"You'll tell me if it's too much?"

She nods. "I'll tell you. But it won't be too much. Let me help you."

He takes a long pause before he says, "Okay."

They fly out the next morning and take a cab down to his apartment. It had been so long since Beth had been there, and if anything, her memory had recalled the place as nicer than it actually was. She looked at the spot on the floor where the air mattress had been, marveling that she had actually slept on that dank floor for weeks on end.

"Reminiscing?" Benny asks, palming her waist as he stepped past her.

"I'm just thinking about how I should have made you take the air mattress."

"We both know I wouldn't have agreed to that."

"And now?" she asks.

"Only if you're on it with me."

"When is your brother meeting us?"

Benny takes a hold of her wrist and checks the time on her watch. "He should be here soon."