Give the Heart a Break

Break 3

• All so beautiful; all so cloudy •

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It was lunch break and I didn't have my lunch with me. With the haste that I came to school, I forgot my lunch box at home.

Maybe I could go to the canteen and get something, but, I didn't bring my money even. Great!

Not knowing what to do, I walked around the campus. I didn't even have proper breakfast. My breakfast, consisting of a pair of toast and coffee that nearly burnt down my taste buds.

An idea struck me, and I forced my legs into the now discarded art room.

The art and music rooms are opened only on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.

And, today was a Monday.

I found the color palettes in the cupboard and a fairly small canvas.

I want to draw something small and quick.

I dipped the thick brush in pure blue and drew straight lines across the canvas. I could feel my eyebrows furrowed as they always get while I am serious.

As the canvas was filled in pitch blue, I took contrasting white and splattered it across the canvas. It looked like a star sky.

But then, I took the relatively thin brush and got it in brown. It was only after the blueness had dried, that I let brown collide in. I mixed white and brown and contoured it to make it look like it was standing against the moon. Then I drew the long trunk and branches and then the pink and red cherry blossoms. Quickly the light green hue spread across the Cliff as grass and I suspended midnight blue, navy blue, sky blue and white to make the moon and its glow.

After nearly an hour, I smiled at my creation. I wiped my hands with a tissue paper.

And, I hadn't realized that the lunch bell had went off. And so did the next bell for my class.

I instantly frowned at the painting and looked around.

No matter how much I try, I am never going to be able to hold it close.

With a heavy heart, I dumped it in the dustbin and put away the materials from where I had gotten them.

I shouldn't have wasted the school properties on something I can't protect.

The middle of the campus was an open field at the end of which was a small park for small kids of the school.

I seated myself at one of the bench and took out my laptop getting on to the assignment, I am assigned.

The crowd was fewer, since it was class time. I pulled my hood up to get away from unwanted attention.

I felt a presence beside me and I just pushed my eyeballs to the corner to look at it. By the appearance, it felt like it was a female.

“You know what? This whole world sucks!”, she said, but to whom?

“They say that the things you can't talk about to others, could be said to a stranger because they can't judge”, she said. Was I paying attention? Probably.

“You know what? I am a lesbian. So why does everyone behave like I am an alien? I can't even say it to my closed ones because I fear that they will also leave me. Like, you know what? This whole world doesn't only run with love stories between girls and boys. I mean what does gender has to do in love, when they say love has no boundaries?”, she ranted and then huffed out.

“I revealed such a shock and you don't have to say a thing?”, she asked me, probably.

I shrugged.

“You, yourself said, you are a lesbian and not an alien. And for society that can't accept you, it's like a habit you know? Like they have grown up seeing opposite genders falling in love, so when this is all new to them, they can't accept it in an instant, but they can try. And if you come out to your parents, the first thing they are going to imagine is, you, having sex with another girl. They just can't picture you as normal couples. But, maybe, with time, they will.”, I say, pretending to type something on my laptop.

“You say so much. Have you ever seen that happen? No. It is just a  ridiculous explanation!”, she huffs out. “By the way, don't you have class? What are you doing here?”, she asked me and I just shrugged.

Honestly, I don't know what I am doing.

I am just too late for my classes to attend.

“At least look at me”, she sighed and I contemplate over looking at her or not.

In a while, I stop typing and pull my hood down to look at her.

Her face is morphed into a shocked one as she jumps to her feet.

“Li... Li... Lisa, I am sorry! I didn't know it was you! I am really sorry!”, she apologised and I could see the red in her cheeks of embarrassment.

I shrugged and replied, “I am still a stranger, you know?”

“No, you aren't. I know your name”

“And?”

“And that you are the best in academics. You are good at sports too and a national winner in chess. And, you are a freaking genius”, she exaggerates.

“Well, maybe not the last part”, I chuckle.

“Oh, you are being modest.”, she waves her hand in the air dismissively.

“No. It's the truth. If I were a genius, I should have the solution to your problems but I don't. That defies the law of being genius”, I say and shake my head.

“Well, you listened to me. If you weren't a generous genius, you would have walked away”, she pointed out.

“What would you have done if I were one of the gossip girls and spreaded the news in the whole school?”, I asked.

Her face morphed into realization.

“Oh my god! I didn't realize that! I was just too angry to think that through! You are an angel too!”, she exclaims and I chuckle.

“No. I am just a human.”, I say and get up as the second bell is about to ring. I slide my laptop into my bag and sling it on my shoulders.

And, off I go to my next class.

The smile I had on my face desperately falls as I turn around.

Smile with people, as long as you can.

As long as I can?

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// Hey guys!!! I am sorry for late updates but I just got too busy with my practicals and projects that I couldn't write any much and also I am going to have my model exams from jan 18 and then boards from feb 22, so I am pretty unsure of what I am going to do... So, If I disappear, I guess you have a reason now//