prince phillip x reader

chapter one

the air was crisp, cold yet refreshing gusts of wind ruffled my hair cheekily as i walked towards the tall churchyards, it's red bricks once vibrant with colour now faded and dull, the new washed orange colour appearing more welcoming.
i kicked the heel of my piss yellow coloured walking boots against the doorframe a couple times watching impatiently as the access clump of mud and wet leaves clung onto the steel toe caps stubbornly. upon realising that the mud wasn't going to detach itself on its own i placed one finger of my knitted gloves into my teeth, removing the garment to flick off all the filth and groaning to myself at the unpleasant slosh it produced as it made contact with the wet floor.
i stood up quickly and spun to face the church doors but immediately had to lean against the archway as my low iron kicked in and took control of my vision, life was hard living on nothing but child flesh and cabbage. a cold sturdy hand gripped my elbow comfortingly as a raspy voice asked if i was okay, i used my still gloved hand to disregard him and walked through the doors to see the ceremony was just starting.

seating myself down in the middle row to the left a farmillar face turned to stare at me
"you're late" edward cullen noted, staring deep into my saggy eyes,
"i'm aware of that" i replied, droplets of spit landing on his jacket as i spoke to him through my lisp, my three teeth rattling nervously. edward turned to say something to me again but the sound of poor francis beginning the ceremony interrupted him and he turned away from me.
the pope commenced his usual ceremony his lack of humour and nasally voice making the time pass slowly as we were all waiting for him to bring around the wine and bread, i turned to edward silently
"have you see margret thatchers hat" i giggled, muffling the noise with the back of my one glove, as his golden eyes began searching for her around the room,
i turned around once more and edward was about to lean down and whisper in my ear when he suddenly jolted violently and slid to the ground, pools of blood collecting around his chest and staining the polished wood of the church pews.
my wide shocked eyes looked up hurriedly and there stood prince phillip, his old feeble hands shaking violently as he stumbled backwards
"she's mine" he yelled politely, pointing the gun at edwards still body,
slowly i stood up, my shaky scrawny legs struggling to hold the weight of my huge muscly arms.
"phillip what have you done?!" i spat with hot salty tears pooling in my eyes and dripping down my cheeks, "you- you" i began but couldn't find the words as phillip pushed his skinny clammy finger against my cold saw ridden lips,
"shhhh" he comforted me pulling me in closer for a hug, "it's olroight now! i fink you're so beauwtuful!" he exclaimed, running his hand through my balding scalp, i grabbed his hand in mine lost in the moment until magret thatcher began tap dancing nervously making a noise acho around the hall, phillip raised his gun and put 40 rounds in her knees and she fell to the floor in pain before being dragged away to safety from the pope,
a couple nuns ran over to me and phillip asking what the problem was but pilliop spat on them hatefully yelling about how much he hated women before dragging me outside by my elbow,
"where are we going" i asked excitedly as we climbed onto his rusty silver mobility scooter, fastening the plastic helmet securely over my head, the british flag contrasting the soft yellow colour of my skin from my previous alcohol addiction,
"wait an see doll" phillip replied cooley, revving up the mobility scooter and farting a little bit..