Heart Of Steel~ A Nessian fanfiction

1.

I stood against the wall, crossing my arms. My icy blue eyes narrowed at the bride. Feyre. I swallowed. She looked so happy. I didn't know why I hated that so much. The rage seared through me, cold yet burning. Rhysand leaned in for a kiss and I looked away. I couldn't watch. Not without feeling like I wanted to destroy the world and light it up. Feyre threw her bouqet of flowers in the air and her bridesmaids ran to catch it but I didn't bother. Elain watched Azriel shyly and I watched her with cold eyes. No. But she ignored me. Like most people did nowadays. "Unhappy?" a voice asked. I turned around slowly. Amren. "No", I snapped, heat rushing to my cheeks. Was I that obvious? Amren smirked like she knew what I was thinking. I scowled at her and she cackled, flashing her white teeth. There was a red smear on one of her teeth and I didn't think that was from lipstick. "You know, you would be much happier if you didn't shut people out", Amren said casually. I took a sharp breath. "I do not shut people out", I clenched my jaw. She raised her eyebrows. "Is that why Cassian is standing there watching you while you ignore him?" I sneaked a glance at Cassian. He was  watching me. My heart filled with something I couldn't explain. Longing? Desire? Anger? A mix of everything? When I turned, Amren was gone. Maybe Amren was right. I squeezed my eyes shut. No. She was right. No doubt. I swallowed. "You alright?" Cassian. "Why wouldn't I be?" I snapped. I winced. I was blocking him out. Again. "Sorry!" Cassian laughed but I could hear the hurt in his voice. I had caused that. I looked down, ashamed. When I looked up, I saw Elain talking to Lucien. The bastard. Hadn't she made her feeling towards him clear already? "Calm down", Cassian said softly. "He does care for her, you know", he continued. I knew. I looked around the room. Everyone was so happy. Except me. I blinked many times, trying not to let the tears forming fall. No. I would never be weak again. I would never be vunerable. But as I turned away from Cassian and left the room, a tear rolled down my cheek and I let the darkness fill me. I let myself become empty. Feelingless. Because no one could love someone who had a heart of steel. Because no one could love someone like me.