Heart Of Steel~ A Nessian fanfiction

2

I walked around Velaris, not knowing what to do. Velaris was so beautiful. The stars shone like little diamonds and streaks of green and purple filled the midnight blue sky. Someone so ugly like me didn't deserve to stay somewhere so beautiful. I couldnt take it. I stumbled into a bar and sat down on one of the stools. I pointed to a random bottle and the bartender took out a glass cup to pour the alcohol into. "I don't need a cup", I told the bartender. "Just pass me the bottle." I took a swig of wine, letting the thick, disgusting liquid pour down my throat. I hated it. I took another swig. But it helped me forget who I was for a few hours at least. I sniffled. I stared at the bottle, my reflection reflecting on the glass. My lower lip trembled. My cheeks were sunken in and my eyes were dead. Then I vomited. All over my crimson dress. I was disgusting. I slipped some coins into the bartenders hands and stumbled out of the bar. I walked to my apartment, the moonlight shimmering against my face. The walls were grey and the door was grimy. It was positively filthy. It was where I belonged. I staggered into the room and flopped onto the couch. I chugged down another gulp of the alcohol, the wine trickling down my chin. I closed my eyes. Black, greasy hair. Dark eyes. Plain face. Curved lips. The King of Hybern. I sat up straight, opening my eyes. My breath quickened and I screamed. And screamed. And screamed. I stopped screaming only when someone opened my door. "Nesta?" A soft, concerned voice. Cassian. "Go away, Cassian", I whispered. I would not have anyone see me this weak. I hugged my knees, curling up into a small ball. "Nesta", he said again. He came closer and I could see his sun kissed skin and his broad shoulders. I dared my eyes to travel lower and when I looked back onto Cassian's face, his lips were curling into a smirk. "Stop looking so smug", I said hoarsely. My throat was burning. I licked my cracked lips. Cassian raked a hand through his hair and my heart thumped against my chest. I was scared when Mama died. I was scared when we lost all our money. I was scared during the battle. But this..... This was a different type of fear. I decided I liked it. Cassian helped me up and he wrinkled his nose. I flushed, lowering my lashes. Even Cassian could see it. The Illyrian bastard could see how low I had become. He wrapped his arm around me and I clung onto him. He brought me to my room and opened the closet. He picked out a silk nightgown and helped me get undressed as sat on my bed, limp. He lifted the nightgown over my head and helped me into it. Then he tucked me into bed as I curled up into a ball. I closed my eyes and let the darkness take over. I swear I felt Cassian's lips on my forehead before I heard the door close.