Bella's Accidents

An Incipient Intimacy

When her mom picked her up, and during the entire ride home, and throughout dinner, and indeed for some time afterwards, Bella remained grinning from ear to ear. She felt elated, weightless, totally euphoric, as though she and she alone had gained special insight into the peculiar and wonderful truth of the universe. In fact, all that had happened was that she had just experienced her first kiss.

She and Claire had locked lips and proceeded to kiss unremittingly for nearly an hour, right up until Bella's mom had knocked at the door to pick her up and take her home. Bella had never felt so exhilarated by anything in her life, and the subsequent sensation of satisfied elation just didn't seem to want to fade away. Her dazed yet ecstatic demeanor must have been fairly conspicuous to her parents as the three of them sat around the table for dinner that night, but they didn't press her much.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" Her mom asked, smiling quizzically.

"Oh, nothing much. Just happy that summer's here," Bella replied, utterly unable to stop beaming.

"I see," said her mom, exchanging a brief glance with her dad. They were obviously unconvinced and seemed, moreover, to be fighting a powerful urge to break out laughing. Bella, however, was oblivious to this, still floating on cloud nine, quite heedless of that which existed below.

After dinner, Bella retired to her room and lay on her bed in a state of bliss, her heart overflowing with satisfaction. Come what may, all that mattered and all that could seemingly ever matter was that she was in love. After awhile – exactly how long she had no idea – she drifted back to earth, or near enough at any rate to change out of her clothes and into a Goodnite and pajamas, turn off the light, and crawl under the covers. What did it matter that she wore diapers at night? Claire didn't care, and that was all that counted, she thought, smiling as her mind strayed into peaceful oblivion.

When she opened her eyes the following morning, Bella was met once more with the wet, uncomfortable feeling in her pull-up to which she had become so accustomed. For the first time, however, it wasn't accompanied by a sense of total internal humiliation. She still didn't like it one bit, and in truth there remained a certain degree of shame, but for the first time she felt able to accept that her nighttime incontinence was merely a fact of life, something which would eventually pass of its own accord. I don't have to like it, but there's no sense tying myself in knots worrying about it either, she thought. Maybe it's not normal, but so what? What is "normal" anyway?

The idea of other people in her life finding out about it still made Bella cringe with embarrassment, as her apparent emotional and intellectual maturity for her age in the eyes of others was a quality she valued highly. But in light of Claire's reaction, the idea was now somewhat less painful than it had ever been before. Pondering for a moment, Bella tried to tally in her mind the number of people in her life who knew about her little nighttime issue. Mom and Dad, she began, Grandma and Grandpa on mom's side, Aunt Ellen, Cassie, Louise, and probably Henry, their parents, Bethany's mom, maybe Bethany, maybe Anna, maybe Jessica, maybe some more people from school if Jessica blabbed to anybody, the counselors and a few of the other girls at camp last summer... and now Claire. Hardly a small list, she reflected soberly.

At least a dozen people, probably more... she had never bothered to tot up the sum before, but now that she did, she could feel her face growing slightly hot. Like most teens, she desired fiercely to be taken seriously and treated as though she were, if not quite an adult, at least something closer to an adult than to a child. But how seriously can any of them take me, knowing I'm a nightly bedwetter who wears diapers to bed at fourteen?

She shook her head. No, she thought, if I'm good enough for Claire, then why the heck should I care what any of the rest of them think? Bolstered by the warm and dreamy recollection of the previous afternoon, Bella hugged her arms to her chest and smiled, wondering whether she should call Claire later that day or wait until tomorrow.