Dreams

Never better

I will be dead for the one
who understands me the most
I am sorry for bothering you
But I am just a waste of time
Please don't waste your time on me
I am not worth it.

So just try to live your life without me
I don't want to leave you alone but I am just hurting you a little more everyday by telling I am sad and depressed.
You are good for me
But at the same time I am not good for you

Even if you say I make you laugh or smile
I know how sad you are and that I can't change anything even if I wanted to.

I live with the thought of ending it everytime I talk to toxic people
But I can't because I am even scared of the feeling slowly drowning in my own
blood sweat and tears.
So I would rather live with the feeling of not beeing worth it than dying with the fear in my eyes knowing I didn't reach one single goal in my life.

I am not that strong how everyone says.
I am a weak, little crybaby who has trust issues, selflove problems, and can't find one single person who stays.
And if I find someone who says I am good enough I don't want them to be with me because I am hurting everyone around me.

Sorry for waisting your time
By writing you that text
That you had to read now
I am just to sad to tell over text
So I am writing it down here and sending you pictures of it.

{Dreams}