Star Trek Imagines

[TOS] Spock - Affirmations

Attempt after attempt, try after try. No matter how hard you'd try, it just wouldn't work. Experiments were exactly that, unpredictable and liable to fail, but you couldn't even get it to begin to work. You were working on a part for the ship that Scotty had asked you to put together, mentioning that if it was successful it could enhance the power relays in the engineering sector. You felt the pressure of having to get it right, and your anxieties over it began clouding your ability to work. Sighing, you threw it down.

"Why won't you work? Why can't I get this right?" you muttered under your breath. You played around with various parts on the desk, leaning your head on your free hand. Rounding the corner was Scotty, who looked at your dejected state with concern.

"Are you alright there, Y/N?"

"Scotty," you started, tone quiet and down. "Should this work? Answer me honestly, theoretically should this work?"

"Aye?" His response came more as a question and you laughed dryly.

"So it's me then. It's me that can't do it."

"I wouldn't say that now, Y/N. You're smart, I'm sure ye can do it, I wouldn't have you here if I didn't believe in ya." He placed a comforting hand on your shoulder and smiled. You sent him one back, though it didn't have the usual shine your smiles had.

"Thanks, Scotty. I wish I believed you, I really do.." your voice had trailed off to merely a whisper by the end of your sentence, and Scotty had frowned. 

He stuck around a little longer, idly performing tasks that he wasn't actually doing; more he stayed to make sure you were alright, to watch you, given you seemed to be taking the failure of the experiment to heart. He'd come to call you a good friend and he didn't like to see you any less than happy. Scotty heard you muttering curses under your breath, the clank of metal hitting the desk and sighs emitting from you in succession. He walked off with the only plan he could think of in the moment.

Meanwhile, you were still trying your hardest to fasten the remaining two bolts together, but they simply would not do so. Effort was not lacking, and you had been hunched over the mess of metal and wires for the best part of two hours. 

"I'm done, I give up" you declared to no one in particular; the room was empty anyway. Throwing the tools down, you placed your head in your hands and groaned. 

"That is rather unlike you, Y/N."

Spinning round, you were faced with Spock, leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded. You stood, making your way over to him without saying a word. He unfolded his arms and pulled you against his chest. Your arms folded around his waist as Spock's arm rested around your shoulders, his free hand running through your hair to calm you. 

Spock had always been your rock, and in the time you had been together, he was your best support. Nothing was ever an issue, and when you had a problem, Spock always had a solution. He wasn't vocal about love, not uncommon for Vulcans, but in his actions and efforts, you knew that he loved you, just as you did him.

Feeling a few tears fall, you pulled your head up to look at him. 

"I'm- uh, I'm sorry."

You went to pull away from him, knowing he wasn't very big on PDA, but he kept you in place, leaving a kiss atop your head.

"You do not need to apologise, Mr. Scott asked me to check that you were alright. Apparently, you are stressed about this experiment you are working on?" 

Taking Spock's hand, you led him to the table you were working at and sat down, gesturing to the mess in front of you. 

"This. This pile of-"

"What was the issue with it?" Spock interrupted, knowing that if he let you start that sentence, you wouldn't have finished it until you were angry and in tears. Over the time you had been together, Spock had picked up on your tendencies to overthink, and to overreact in some cases, though luckily he knew how to handle such events.

"It just won't work!" you exclaimed, throwing your hands up in a defeated motion. "Scotty said it should, so I've put it down to the fact I'm useless at my job."

"That is untrue, Y/N. You know that."

"Well, explain this then, Spock. I can't do it even though it can be done, and this isn't even half of it; this is the easy part! Perhaps I shouldn't be here, I'm not cut out for this. I'm far too stupid to-"

"Y/N." Spock's voice now was stern, and he knelt down in front of you and took both of your hands in his, brushing his thumbs across the back of your hands. "Listen to me. You are not a failure because of this, it does not define your whole career. It is an experiment, is it not? Experiments are known to fail, often times they do not even work in the first place."

"But-"

"Therefore I see no reason for such stress," Spock continued, not allowing you a self-deprecating rant. You, yourself, are remarkable. Intelligent, smart and hardworking; never have I quite met such a person as you. I know you can do this, and I know you are smart enough to make this work despite the challenges it poses. Please remember how wonderful you are, Y/N. You can do this, you are not stupid nor should you be anywhere else. You belong here with us and I have every faith in you here and now that your anxieties over this will not win."

By the end of his little pep-talk, your tears had ceased falling and instead you had a sweet smile on your face. Spock looked at you with such love, and you believed his every word, knowing in your heart of hearts he was being truthful. You brought your hand to his face, cupping it gently. He placed his own over yours.

"What would I do without you, Spock? I love you."

"As do I, you." 

Pulling a chair up, Spock sat next to you and you frowned. 

"Do you not have duties elsewhere, Spock? I appreciate your company, don't get me wrong, but usually you have other things to do at this time" you enquired, giggling a little as you picked the pieces back up.

"They can wait until we have finished working on this."

Surprised, you leaned over and kissed his cheek. Spock rarely would forgo duties, such actions in his eyes were not logical, however it warmed your heart as you watched him work alongside you. Your train of thought drifted as you silently worked together; you could do this. Scotty believed in you, Spock believed in you, Jim believed in you. Now it was your turn. 

Spock's previous words became affirmations you told yourself each time you started getting stressed again, though hard it may have seemed to believe in them wholeheartedly. But you knew, despite everything, you knew that with Spock by your side, you could do anything. 

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A/N: Thanks for reading! :) x