You Put My Finger On The Trigger

Chapter Nine: Coming Home

   He was hugging me. Avery, the boy who never showed any emotion other than anger and sarcasm if that was even an emotion, was hugging me, of his own accord. What the absolute hecking heck was happening?
He smelled faintly of cedar wood, apples, and cinnamon, the scent diluted by the Wyoming wind. Her breath quickened despite herself, despite her broken state. His tight hold around her was like glue putting her back together; she could feel the hope seeping back in through the cracks, along with something a little warm and fuzzy.
She reached up, finally snapping out of her initial surprise and squeezed him back tightly, then something in her softly crumbled and she collapsed into him, tears leaking again from the corners of her eyes. She could feel him tense a little and just as she was about to pull way, he relaxed and hugged her tightly again. They stood there a moment, just the two of them, then broke apart.
Gracie felt a blush rise to her cheeks, and she hoped it wasn't noticeable. She peeked at Avery. His face held a drawn sort of sorrow; an old trouble shadowing his chiseled features, seeming almost to etch physical lines into his face. He was staring at her with a faraway, sad expression, almost wistful, almost painful. Unsure of what to do, she shyly studied the ground again.
He broke the silence first, clearing his throat as he turned and walked back to where Timber was standing ground tied. He picked up the reins and walked over to her, pulling out an old flip phone and pushing buttons on it as he sauntered. Then he flipped it shut and shoved it in his pocket.
"Well Sunshine Girl, I reckon we need to get you home, so leg up, I'll help you." He turned towards her, and he was gone, shuttered back into his impassive features, like an innocent person taken into custody at the snap of a finger. His face was once again masked and professional.
"Uh, what? That's- that's Timber. I'm not good enough to get on him!" Gracie tried to protest, confused.
"No stupid, I know that. We'll be riding double. He needs the desensitization to it anyway. Just hop on, slide behind the saddle, then hold onto me for dear life once I get on because I have no idea how he'll treat it. I'm the only one who's been on his back ever." Avery directed.
He looked in no mood to argue despite the twinkle in his eye and the tilt to his lips.
Swallowing the lump in her throat and forcing the clammy feeling in her hands to dissipate, she swung up and behind the saddle. The colt moved around a bit, but he didn't try anything overly stupid and Gracie was able to hang on.
Avery clambered into the saddle, some difficulty involved due to Gracie blocking his leg swing over the creature's rump. Finally though, they were situated and ready to go.
Gracie continued to seize the cantle with a death grip.
"Put your arms around me, you won't last a second like that," Avery commanded, somewhat coldly.
Gracie didn't move.
She couldn't explain why she was nervous. His closeness just.. bothered her. The strangest thing was, she didn't really hate it?!
He sighed, as though he'd just caught his toddler drawing on the walls with a marker again. Twisting in the saddle, he looked straight into her eyes, fierce and challenging, then grabbed her arms and wrapped them around his torso, not breaking eye contact once.
"I know how to ride with one hand so if I have to I'll just hold them there, but I think your pretty little head will figure out fast enough that it's best to hold on yourself." His words were short and clipped, but somehow not angry. He turned and gathered the reins in his hands again, then signalled the colt forward.
Timber pinned his ears and crow-hopped. Gracie's heart caught in her chest as she frantically tightened her grip on Avery, nearly bonking their heads together as he jumped. Avery's heels urged him firmly ahead as the horse hit the ground. He hopped again, but when he felt a second firm correction, precisely timed, he started to walk, ears flickering in annoyance.
Gracie squeezed his waist a little tighter after that, unwilling to take her chances especially with such a high dollar, sensitive horse. She knew if she tried to hold on with her legs like she did with Moose, it'd be over for both of them due to his high sensitivity coupled with his young nature. As they headed back to the barn, he still tried a few fancy shenanigans and shuffles, but at least all four feet stayed on the ground, and the four human feet stayed two on each side of the beast.
When Timber had carried them close enough, Avery suddenly halted him.
"Jump down."
Confused, Gracie slid off obligingly, and he followed directly.
"We gotta walk now or Ma will tan my hide for letting that happen. Not a word to her, understand?" His serious yet slightly mischievous eyes bored straight into her, and she had to look down to form a simple "Got it."
So they continued, Avery leading Timber and a faint smile tugging at his lips, while Gracie struggled to match the other two's strides.
Rylee was waiting for them at the barn. She pulled Gracie aside, and waved Avery to take care of his horse.
"Listen Gracie," she began, "I know you're struggling with some things, whether you tell me or not. I can see it in your eyes, and the circles under them. I can see it in the way your smile drops like a dead fly as soon as Caitlyn's back is turned. I even see it in the way you close the cupboard doors. You don't exactly wear your heart on your sleeve, but I've been doing this for a while now."
Gracie studied the ground for 137th time that day, not sure what to say. She didn't think anyone had noticed. Guess that's what I get for thinking so much.
"Anyhow, I just want you to know, it's entirely normal and a more than reasonable reaction to the trauma you've been through. You're not alone, ok?"
Tears she thought she didn't have left burned the back of her eyelid as she nodded, unable to trust her voice.
"You can always talk to me, you know; I'll promise you confidentiality. And I'm sure the girls will gladly listen too."
"Ok, thanks." She replied after a pause, her voice tense as she had little control over it.
"Now run along and saddle Moose up. We're going on a group ride today. I had the others do her chores, since you were missing." Rylee smiled genuinely, and the warmth  of it helped to penetrate the thick layer of nothingness that had enveloped her earlier in the morning, as she nodded and turned to do as she was bid.

  AN: honestly this is just a filler, especially the last half. I have terrible writers block so it's awkward and tense and not perfect at all, but I gotta keep moving or I'll be stuck forever.