curious

HNLY

talking until 3am
giving me that look again
I'm the drug you never did
higher than you've ever been
took me like I was a hit
addicted but trying to quit
get over it
act like you already did
so thirsty, you're drowning in it

a simple message is how it starts.

a social media dm from a girl i didn't know.

a girl that happened to be thousands of miles away.

with her naturally golden locks dyed a charcoal black, making her crystal blue eyes seem to stare into my soul.

through a photo.

it came after i posted a particularly lonely captioned photo on my instagram story

billieeilish
hey you don't know me but i figured i'd shoot my shot and make a new friend

billieeilish
so hi, my name is billie

that simple attention grabbing message created a bond between the two of us.

after three weeks, billie and i started calling every day.

sweet little calls filled with comfortable silence, leading to peaceful dreams on the phone.

she quickly learned my actions and attitude, and seemed to sense when i was about to lose my mind.

she was the only one who could talk me out of a panic attack.

after two months, billie started making me feel like i was the only person she ever spoke to.

she made me feel special.

she started sending me things — things that i wasn't used to.

she would say things that tugged at my heart strings, and things that would make my heart race.

she said she was feeling things for someone.

she never specified who.

she was experimenting with girls, and that's all i knew.

after five months, billie told me that she wanted to meet me in person.

billie was going to fly to me and stay with me for a week.

daily, she would express how badly she wanted to see me..

to kiss me..

to do other things with me..

to me..

she would send me photos of her body, knowing exactly which angles and positions turned me on the most.

the countdown began.

one month before she flew to me.