Heart on Your Sleeve

2

They set out on their road trip three days later and Jennie doesn't tell a soul.

She doesn't tell her mother and she doesn't even think of mentioning it to her father, she'd either be kicked out or disowned. But going with Lisa means getting either treatment, and its wild how suddenly she doesn't care about school or grades because Lisa looked so happy when she said she wanted to just drive. Go as far away as possible. Break doesn't start for another week, but hey, Jennie has a perfect GPA, so fuck it she thinks, she's going where Lisa goes.

She's going where Lisa takes her.

-

Jennie meets her at their spot.

Their spot is the tunnel in their local parks playground. It's the spot Lisa knew she loved Jennie and it was the spot she ran to the first time her father hit her. She remembers how Jennie cuddled her in the plastic tunnel and tucked her head under her neck. She remembers how Jennie said she was worthy of being loved and played with Lisa's bruised hands.

Jennie was like that-is like that. Caring and soft and innocent because she asked Lisa "Why are you bruised? Did you fall over?" And Lisa laughed as she wiped tears from her eyes saying "No, it's okay. I just punched my wall again" Which she didn't, but Jennie doesn't have to know that.

But twelve year old Jennie frowned, she said for Lisa not to do that anymore because it'll hurt your bones and skin and Jennie likes how soft her best friend's hands are. So Lisa hasn't hit her fist against a wall since.

"Lili?"

She's flashed back to the present, blinking once as she flicks her cigarette to rid of the ash. Jennie, like always, gives her a disappointed frown - but simply ducks her head into the tunnel with an expectant small smile.

A duffel bag is slung over her shoulder, she's wearing a mini skirt and one of Lisa's sweaters and she looks so fucking perfect Lisa thinks.

"You coming? Or am I gonna have to drive?"

Lisa smiles, puts out her cigarette on the tunnel and crawls out. She doesn't miss the interested intrigued look Jennie gives the snuffed out cigarette, how she watches the embers flicker out and dissipate into the ground. She was so invested she doesn't even feel Lisa until she's waving her hand in front of her face.

"Nini? Anybody home?"

Jennie blinks, shakes her head and watches how the action has Lisa smiling slowly. She blushes, because Jesus Jennie, what's so hot about Lisa putting out a cigarette??

Lisa chuckles softly at how Jennie blushes, putting her arm around the other girl's shoulders and kissing her cheek. Jennie melts into the hold, how Lisa's bomber jacket is soft and her arm strong as they walk out of the park. When they get to Lisa's Impala, the other girl spins her keys around her pointer finger and whistles, smiling to Jennie over the top of the roof.

"Ready?"

And Jennie smiles, because Lisa is happy. And that's all that matters. "Ready"

-

There were times Lisa seriously thought about hurting herself. Times when she couldn't think properly and her mind was unfocused and foggy. Where it felt like her bones were rattling inside of her, restless and unkempt.

She was close to doing so, so, so close.

She was laying on her back, staring to the ceiling with her fathers razor in her hand. She was 14 and hurting and she couldn't breathe. (And then Jennie knocked on her bedroom door, saying something about the beach and getting ice cream. Lisa threw the razor across the room, like it burnt her) There was something about that moment, like Jennie somehow knew. Like she felt Lisa hurting. And it made the younger girl come to a conclusion, one shining bright revelation that made her clench her fists in her lap at the ice cream shop; one that made her look to her best friend like she hung the moon.