Sunsets and Constellations | B X B

• N I N E •

E L I J A H

"Hate to break it to you Elijah, but this sounds like a classic case of attraction. Good old, cheesy, movie-kinda attraction." Ryder said, chewing on her fingernail.

They were currently sitting in their room, with the dim yellow light of the lampstand being their only source of illumination. Ryder had crawled over to Elijah's bed wrapped in her comforter after noticing the boy's uneasiness.

"But he's a fucking guy. And I've never been attracted to a dude before. It just doesn't happen. It's not supposed to work like that. It's wrong? It doesn't seem natural. ."

Ryder took a deep breath, seemingly to calm herself down.
They sat looking at each other for a few minutes, completely confused.

"Listen, I know it's scary. But take your time. You don't even have to label yourself. Like, take Tirzah for reference. You don't have to tell anybody. You don't have to come out either."

"But what you have to do is come to terms with it. Make peace with the fact that you can't control who you're attracted to. And it's normal. It really is.
There's so many people like you. Like me. Like us."

"And, don't fucking talk about how nature works. Lions engage in homosexual intercourse all the time, there's bisexual geese, there's gay penguins, asexual snails. I'd suggest you do your research."

"I don't know Ryder, liking guys is one thing. But being attracted to Arius of all people? You've got to be fucking kidding. There's no way he's gay. I mean, what are the odds? Besides, he's a certified, A-grade arsehole. I'm pretty sure he hates me. Oh my God, how am I going to tell mum and Abby? I don't even fucking know if I'm gay." He said, pulling his hair.

"Now, going by that kind of thinking, you don't look gay either. What the fuck do you think gay people look like? Covered in rainbows and glitter? Grow the fuck up Elijah." Ryder asserted, ruffling his hair.

"Who's Abby anyway?"

"See that picture on the stand? That's her. She's my cousin, but we're practically siblings. She's the closest thing I've come to having a best friend."

They were both lost in their own thoughts for a while, as the clock ticked.

"It's okay, you really don't have to tell anybody now you know? Not even mum or Abby. And my lips are sealed. I promise. Now catch some sleep, you have Harold first class."

"Thank you. Really." He wrapped his arms around her and rested his head in the crook of her neck.
Ryder stiffened, but eventually melted into the embrace, patting his back awkwardly and squeezing him after.

"You're one awkward bitch you know that?" He smirked.

"Oh fuck off." Ryder said, standing up and walking over to her bed and falling flat on her face.

"Night Ry."

"Night, fucker."

Elijah couldn't sleep for a long time. Now that he had talked about it with a real person and not the fiend living in his head, it made the revelation all the more real. Elijah was scared shitless.
But he knew Ryder was right. The butterflies in his stomach, the pleasant electrical zapping, the underlying nervousness, the need to get his attention (unconscious doing), the admiration of his jawline and not being able to breathe every time they were close to each other.

Oh and don't fucking forget those otherworldly eyes.

Elijah was a boy. A 6'0, muscular male. He was supposed to be attracted to girls; girls with long hair, fake eyelashes, soft, delicate hands, feminine features, boobs and ass. That was what was conventional. That was what society had deemed as acceptable.