online crush || yang jeongin ✓

13.

"I..." Jeongin started.

"I... I like you. And not as a friend. I really like you and I have been liking you for quite a while now... And I hope you feel the same. Will you be my girlfriend?"

And at once a warm feeling embraced me. My heart bounced at such a rapid speed, and honestly, I just felt like the happiest person ever.

I stared at his eyes, and they were filled with nothing but sincerity.

Right when you were about to say yes, he interrupted me, taking out his phone from his pocket and stopping the recording.

"Sorry, I had to do this! I hope you didn't mind," he grinned.

"Wait, w-what?" I asked, my heart instantly dropping.

He turned off his phone, explaining, "Changbin told me to do this when we were playing truth or dare. It's so stupid, I know. I tried to coax him out of it but he was like, 'Young love! Young love!' And I had no idea what to say. So, yep."

"Right... So this is fake..?" I questioned, hoping that he was playing with me or that I had heard wrongly or that he was suddenly going to wrap his arms around me and whisper, 'Nope, it isn't fake.'

But instead, he giggled. "C'mon, Bora, imagine thinking I was for real! Wouldn't that be like, so funny?"

I nearly fell to the ground, but luckily I didn't.

I would've embarrassed myself badly.

And although I didn't drop to the ground, my heart sure did. My heart was on the ground and he had crushed it into a million pieces in a single second.

He was oblivious, letting out a few chuckles, and there I was, pathetically trying to hold in my tears.

"Was it a good one, at least?" he asked, slapping my arm. 

"Yup! Almost got me there!" I laughed, holding all my emotions in as well as I can. 

Jeongin looked at me as if he was in disbelief, causing me to gulp slightly. "There's no way you would have fallen for it, Bora! Firstly, we're best friends, and I would never like you, and likewise! I'd never hide something from you either." 

I smiled.

Jeongin, if you had looked closely, you would notice that this isn't a smile of happiness at all.

Jeongin, fuck you, for sending me mixed signals.

And as if crushing my heart wasn't enough, he had to step on the broken pieces as well.

How gullible I was to think that he would confess and actually mean it.

But I could not let emotions out now. In fear that I would lose him. 

As a friend.

"Right! I know that we'd never like each other. It's just that your acting is really good... Honestly, I think you would make a great actor! Anyways, I'll head back now! Thanks for the porridge, but I don't really have an appetite right now..." My voice wavered throughout, and as I finished my last sentence, I finally stood up.

"Okay, bye bye! Rest well!"

"Alrighties," I tried to respond with the same enthusiasm.

Don't drop the facade. Don't drop the facade.

Don't drop the facade. At least not yet.

I walked out of the door and without looking back, immediately charged for the bathroom. And once I got there, I let all of my emotions out.