See The Light 💜✨

xi.

The next day, as I made my way from Remedial Goodness 101, I was a nervous wreck.

Meeting Alex? By himself? By ourselves? My stomach rolled thinking about it..but, yet, I was excited.

I hadn't been alone with Alex, the old Alex, since that time when I talked with him at the Orpheum. I felt my mind switch to that day and I just wished I could go back.

The night was cold but the space between us was even colder. It was like a gap of unforgivable winter, a snowfall of historical significance. I wanted to hold him, to make him see that I was sorry.

"Is this seat taken?"

He didn't look at me, he only solemnly shook his head before staring up at the empty stage before us. The stage he was supposed to play on twenty five years ago. What I'd give to be able to see him in that stage, a prideful smile on his face while he played his drums.

"This whole thing sucks," he eventually spat out, sounding remorseful and more angry at himself than me.

"Yeah, I messed up.." I took in a deep breath, prepared for the blow of Alex telling me he never wanted to see me again, screaming that I was the cause of all his problems leading up to now.

But, instead, he just looked at me with sorrowful and forgiving eyes,"Like you said, you don't have a choice. Caleb owns your soul."

I couldn't help but shake my head, the feeling of guilt weighing on me like a rock in the sea,"Still, I know what he's capable of. I lead you right to him."

Tears began to pepper my eyes, making me wish I could be anywhere but here. Wishing I could be in any position where I never met him. Dreaming of a world where I didn't want to throw myself into any sort of danger for him.

Eventually, I just spoke the truth,"When you guys asked me, I should've just skated away," my heart felt like lead as it sunk deeper and deeper into my emotions of remorse.

But instead of him getting angry, he scooted closer to me, his entire side touching mine as he leaned down and looked around to force me to make eye contact with him.

"I would've still followed you."

Now, as I stood in the hallway on the way to the practice room, I felt myself stop in my tracks.
What if I lead this Alex into the same situation as the other one?

But then I let the thought pass because I knew something that he or nobody else didn't know.

Caleb wasn't here and I don't think he'd ever be.

And with those words, I went on my way. Confidence rolling on my every being as I strolled down the hallways without a worrisome thought in my head.

Where did this feeling even come from? I had never felt this before and it was strikingly...odd.

Every time people passed me in the hallways, I didn't act like they weren't there anymore. I have them a smirk or a smile, maybe even said "hey" or "what's up" to a few. It made me feel different. Definitely not myself.

I made it to the door of the practice room, hearing drums being played from the outside. I pushed open the doors and I felt my mouth form into a wild grin when I saw Alex jamming out on his drums.

He was rocking out to some sort of punk rock track playing in his head..at least, that's how I interpreted it. The drums made the floor vibrate and I couldn't imagine how he could even sit up there without the chair moving.

Eventually, he reached his crescendo and panted as he wiped sweat off his forehead. I noticed sweat soaking his long bangs and it trailed down his neck, I swallowed and shrieked back, going back to my non-confident state of nervousness.

I swear I have higher standards than pretty boys dripping in sweat but somehow it was hard not to stare at him just now.

Unlucky for me, he noticed that I was there and staring at him,"Hey, man!"

I jumped slightly and said with a higher tone of voice than usual,"Uh, hey, Alex.." I cleared my throat, making myself go back to my normal tone of voice,"That was a great song."

"Oh, thanks! Melody and I wrote it last night...well, some of it. It's been a little project of mine for awhile," he jumped off the stage, picking up a white rag on the edge of it and wiping his neck and forehead,"It's a rock song. Not really my style but with the lyrics I have in mind, I think it'll go great together."

I wanted to laugh considering his band in the other universe was a rock band but I wasn't going to say that out loud,"It sounded totally in your style. You guys should do more rock stuff."

"Yeah, I would enjoy something new but Laddie's really into pop and pop rock..not rock in general. Me and Mellie? We would kill to have a new sound," he walked over to the wall next to the door that lead outside where Laddie left that one day, he picked up his duffel bag and motioned me to walk over there,"So, ready for me to kick your butt at tourney?"

"Don't be so confident, man, I could have a hidden card up my sleeve," I crossed my arms in a defiant way, making Alex nod in a playful way.

"Alright, hotshot, I just have to get some stuff from my dorm before we can get the butt-kicking on the tourney field going.." he walked toward the door I came in from and held the door open for me, I stepped out and he let the door close behind him,"C'mon, my dorm is this way."

He started making his way towards the other dorms on campus, the complete other side of where mine and Carlos's was.

We went up a few flights of stairs, talking about anything and everything under the sun as we made our way towards his room.

Eventually, we reached a door at the very end of a hallway on the top floor of the dorms, he grabbed some keys out of a pocket in his bag before opening the door,"You can come on in while I find what I'm looking for."

"Okay, thanks."

He entered, holding the door open for me again, before rummaging around and under his bed,"So, is Carlos your roommate?"

"Yeah, we're pretty close so I was really hoping we would be.." I looked at the other bed and space in general, noticing a lot of jewelry magazines and travel pamphlets for a place I couldn't quite make out on it from far away..but I didn't want to intrude and snoop.

"I got pretty lucky too, I guess. It's always nice when you get a childhood friend as your roommate instead of a stranger, huh?"

"Right. Imagine if I had gotten Laddie as a roommate," I joked..but Alex kinda blinked and stopped what he was doing,"What?"

"Well..."

Just as he had said that, the doorknob started jiggling and I could hear the chime of keys as they hit the lock.

The door opened and I looked at Alex, noticing the blood leave his face. I wondered what he was so scared about when all of a sudden, I hear,"Xander! I know you're about to head to P.E. but I need you to get...."

That's when Laddie's eyes caught mine and he instantly started heating up.

Oh, you've got to be kidding me...