The Gamer and his awkward boy (English Translation)

11

Co-translator : babibubego

11. Rainstorms in Our Mind
“Oh my God, P’Thee, take it easy! Soh’s skin will fall out with the towel!”

“Compered In Call of Duty, Captain Price doesn’t know how many millions of wounds can run, this is nothing.” A young man looks up at a little boy who is open mouthed with big eyes, still wrapped his shoulders as he helps wipe his arm like a rock.

“But Soh is sick. Soh forgot that P’Thee was not a doctor.”

“Why would you say that I’m doing something bad because I’m not study a doctor? Is this even career?” He is looking something, squeezing the jaw of the sick person who is sitting on the bed until the cheek deflated to the pressure.

“P’Thee is a murderer.”

“Oh I have a plan to kill people around while sleeping.” Thee raised his eyebrows before turning to dampen the towel and water, wring it up and hand over to the younger brother. “I’m going to wipe the inside of you.”

“I can do it myself.”

“Don’t even dream about it!” The young man started to insert his wet towel through the collar, while Soh put on a scared face as Thee started washing his chest. “Don't worry, your chest is flat, so it won't bother me.”

“Yes, if P'Thee likes a man it will be a problem. Luckily Soh was the one who fell victim to P'Thee to test it.” He narrowed his eyes to the younger boy who teased him to become more daring every day.

Thee sat and watched the sick man tremble after wiping himself for a while. He’s think it’s important to send the child to bed as soon as possible, otherwise it will getting worse.

“Soh wants going to go to under blanket.”

“Wipe it quickly and change the clothes. I’ll turn off the lights, so you can sleep.” The young man walks to open wardrobe before discovering the artistic creation of his younger brother’s clothes which chases the tone neatly. It’s harder than the maid who takes care of his room.

“Is P'Thee not bored staying with Soh like this?”

“No.” He answered briefly, sliding his clothes to the pajamas hanging on the far left. “If there’s a lot to talk, I won’t get bored. Why do you asking?”

“Soh is worried. P’Thee has to stick here with Soh, instead playing game and editing the clip for the audiences.”

“I’m going back and playing.” He picked out the plain pajamas and handed it over, which Nong De took with bowed as thank you. “If you can’t take a rest today, you have to stay for another for rest.”

“I can’t rest. Because I have quiz tomorrow.”

“Oh, so why don't you read the book for the quiz tomorrow?”

“It’s all in my phone. I’ll take a nap and get up then I'll ask Arm to send the material via LINE.” With the phone still in the process of being transported back to Bangkok, so he found little a small obstacle.

“I’m going to sit down and read in front the computer, asks Arm to send the material to my phone. You can read it with my phone, so you don’t have go anywhere.” Thee handed his phone to Soh, but Soh shook his head.

“No, that’s your personal stuff.”

“Oh just look at the picture that Arm send through my LINE, or you want to pay it for fifty thousand?”

“Ohhh so expensive..”

“This is a celebrity's phone. I'm giving a price for a friend. For other people I will give ten million.” Thee make a brushing hand to rush Soh put on clothes. So he went into blanket and Thee saw that Soh want to complain, just open his mouth and tell him to turn his back, right?

“P'Thee hurries up and takes a shower, if it's late, you will get cold and blame Soh.”

“Oke, I’ll go. I borrow your pajama as well.”

“Give me ten baht!”

“I’ll give you a hundred, rich!”

“All right, P’Thee will give me 100 baht!”

He just stays quite because too lazy to interact with Soh. The young man grumbling silently as he walked to open the closet to find a pajama, before grabbing a dark brown towel into the bathroom. Manage to finish his bath in short time than walk back to end of the bed in pajama.

Soh quickly cover his mouth as not to laugh. He knew how the boy felt when he saw a man with a body as big as him wearing clothes that were smaller in size, and also pants that looked tight so he have to load his waist down a little because the crotch is tight.

“Don’t you have bigger clothes?”

“Actually P’Thee can wear shorts. It’s in the drawer right there. Soh will get up and pick it up for you.” the sick person ready to crawl down the bed but he feel dizzy.

“You don’t have to do that. I can wear this even its little uncomfortable, but I can handle it.”

“But you not look ‘little’ uncomfortable, P’Thee.”

“Don’t argue with me. I will trying to adapt to fit this pants.” After finished speaking, he held his target, they looked at each other’s eyes, and Thee sighed.

“P’Thee is more like sick person than Soh.”

What? Damn it!

“You should rest in the first place, you shouldn’t bother for something like this.”

“How consider.” Soh said. Thee is standing beside the bed and looked at the boy who was blanketing himself, ‘It’s not because the rain, but because the world has people like P’Thee.’

The patient flipped to sideway of bed. The young man saw that the boy put his finger on his ear as if he doesn’t want to hear anything, so he walked closer and leaned down, whispered, “If I ripped your pants, I apologize in advance.”

“Soh is sleep.”

“Ah, but don’t you want me to give a good night kiss?”

“Uuuughh…” Thee smiled looking at the sick person who pretended to sleep before gently pulling the blanket.

He remember when Four was so sick, he couldn’t crawl down to eat. He’s the brave brother who got up to boil MAMA when his parents were asleep. At the beginning, he just open one pack of noodle, but when he thought the patient might be better if eat a lot, he boiled three packs to eat with his brother and it is good to see the smile of his younger brother when he is scrambling the meatballs.

After buying the shoes for him, he didn’t even ask if they were already wearing it. Is it comfortable to wear? Or how would the parents feel if they found out that the shoes were from him. Thee were afraid to hear painful things.

THR33 : Don’t drink too much.

He was looking for his girlfriend at almost midnight. Repeat again, even though he knows that she would not be able read it when spending time with hot girl gang. Part of not wanting to get drunk is because Thee doesn’t want to make excuses for her parents, but if the day Bella gets drunk and Thee must take her home, Bella's parents will think that he is a man without a job, primarily as a source of this person, and that he will lose his child.

However Bella’s parents were never seen wrong, even when she’s sick, he wanted to sit down and take care of it, but her mother always watched his every move. Her mother gave him a sarcastic look and told his nephew ‘Film should read a lot of books don't just play games, you won't grow up, have no future and can't take care of other people.’

Honestly speaking from the heart, some adults grow old because their hair turns gray. There are hundreds of millions of ways to make him feel guilty about playing the game, but that's certainly not an irony. How can you be together for a long time if father-in-law and son-in-law don't get along.

Often when sitting down to eat with Bella's family, her father said that if he wanted to look after his daughter, he should go home to continue his family's gold shop business. He is already planning to get his daughter married in a grand marriage that will suit his daughter.

Thee love Bella, but that’s it. he doesn’t love her parents.

RRRrrrr!!

The young man was stunned by the sound of the call, so he rushed to grab his phone, which was placed in bed as soon as possible, fearing the patient would wake up.

“What’s up Bella?” he shook his head said nothing, pulled a blanket over and walked out on the balcony.

(It’s Fai, Thee. Bella is drunk.)

“I told her not to do it. She’s easy to get drunk.”

(She’s drink by herself, I didn’t pour it.)

“Where are you now? Is that the same place?”

(Yep, hurry up. What are you guys fighting for again?)

“Fighting?” Thee frowned back and thought back what he had done wrong. Even he tried to think, but he still can’t find the answer. There is no way Bella will sulked after he promised to go to Pattaya together after winning the final match of the line. She looks happy back then. “Okay. Just wait for me. I’ll hurry.”

(Okay hurry up.)

The young man hung up and change his clothe then walked out picked his wallet and phone. He stopped looking at the sick person lying in bed, and taking a new antipyretic gel out of the refrigerator and attaching it to the sleepless child.

“Nong De, P’ is going to go and pick up Bella. If you wake up and hungry, you can warm porridge and eat. But I’ll take my phone first, so you have to read from your computer.”

“P’Thee, are you going now?” the younger man repeats his word before nodding slowly. “Be careful, remember the taxi number.”

After finished speaking, he closes his eyes again. He would have been so sleepy to sleep easily. The young man measured the temperature on his forehead, cheeks and neck, and saw that Soh condition is better than before. He turned around to pick up his girlfriend, but walking with just one step, he can felt the pull of his shirt.

The hand of the sick person to hold is loose. Soh is not even conscious at that minute. And he was rather anxious to leave the other person alone, unable to reach out to him because he had no phone. Thee lowered his gaze, looked at his still clinging hand before slowly put it off and put it in under blanket and calculating how long it would take to pick up Bella from pub and get here.

“Don’t get any worse, okay? I’ll back as soon as possible.”

Thee often came to Tholnglor when he was in college, but now he spends more time playing games and pan pig parties. He used to enjoy being in a crowded place with drunken people gathered, but now he prefers to be in a quiet place with the people closest to him than listening to loud music all the time.

The young man called his girlfriend again upon arrival. And the person answering the call is still the same person, Fai, which she is coming straight this way. A woman came over to him with a sigh, holding Bella's phone in the other hand, Thee remembered the case he bought for Bella.

“Where is Bella?”

“Inside, she vomited several times.”

“Is she vomited?” Thee walked in but were stopped by Fai. She stood before him with her arms folded in an unkind gaze.

“I asked Thee, is it because of the game?”

“Huh?” It felt like being hit hard. The young man frowned and rolled his eyes as if he had awakened. For a moment he asked if his ears had heard correctly. Why did her close friends find out about their problem?

“Bella is very stressed.”

“Stress about what?”

“Huh?” Fai stared in disbelief and only smiled sarcastically. It's not usually Thee dealing with Bella's close friends. Just being around this group of women made Thee nerves. “You don't know what you have done, you spend more time with your friends. How is Bella feeling?”

“Look Fai, if there really is a problem between me and Bella, I'll solve it myself. So you don't have to interfere, even if I try to explain it to you it won't solve anything.” He intends to take Bella home, not wanting to deal with his close friends.

“Fai, don't.” Thee looked at the owner of the voice, he saw his girlfriend walking, seen from his face if he was drunk. so he holds his arm so he doesn't fall, “We already agreed.”

“Agree on what? if you don't say, i will.”

“Forget it. Let it be.”

“Don't be stupid, Bella. If you don't say it now, we will always hear your complaints. You will feel nervous and act like nothing happened when you are with him all this time.”

Okay, Thee can grasp what the real problem is, maybe Bella often complains to her friends when Thee doesn't care about her or when he makes mistakes

“We'll talk again later. Fai, where did Bella park the car? I'll take you home.” The young boy grabbed his girlfriend's shoulder, but was pulled by her close friend, making the atmosphere intense.

“Look. What have you been doing all this time when my friend cries because of stress, do you know? She wants to get married, have a family. Have you ever sat and listened to it? Or are you just thinking about games? She's my friend, I'll take care of her.”

“Fai, listen.” The young man took a deep breath try to calm down. It’s not even funny to stand up to women who cursed a story that she doesn’t even understand. He was also unable compose the words, “I would think that you drunk too, Fai. Now let go of Bella first, we will take her home.”

“Bella, if you go, we will stop being friend.”

“Thee, can you calm down first? And listen to Fai talking?”

“What else should Thee listen to, Bell? She did insult Thee for something that we've talked about hundreds of times.” The young man raised his eyebrows and asked. “Should we wait for Fai to feel better? could let Thee sit and wait anywhere, but not now.”

He sighed and looked the other way. Thee could feel the heat on his head P'Tap once told him that there was no point arguing with drunken people, it was a situation he encountered frequently, but he never knew how to avoid that situation now.

“If you've talked about it a lot, but your girlfriend doesn't even change, that means something's wrong. Can you think about it now?”

“Hey Fai, about marriage, Bella and I agreed to get married when we were 30. At that time we should have had enough money to buy a house and employ dozens of paid servants every month to sweep the house, wipe the furniture and also wash clothes, so that Bella doesn't have to do it. And we will save for Bella to travel to England or France. Because when you get married, the person responsible for Bella is me, not someone else, that's why Thee has to save money.”

“Your mistake is to get out of the house. You should continue with your family's gold shop so you can feed Bella and the other 10 kids.”

“Oh and i have to do something i don't like just to feed Bella and the kids. There are many other ways you can do without having to continue the gold shop business.” Thee never thought of explaining something crazy, he looked at his girlfriend's face, and observed her eyes, “When she was forced to study in a special class because of her bad grades, Fai didn’t want to endure it, but Fai is imposing things that I don’t like for us, am I right?”

“Enough, if it’s going to be like this. I won’t know anything about it.” Bella tried to stop the conversation by walking in the middle. Her hands were cold, and it easily comes to the heart of those who have endured this kind of things for years.

Endure the pressure of being pressured by their parents, to withstand the pressure from their parents, for Fai, Thee must understand Bella's situation. It is normal for girls to share their stories with each other until they are angry in their best friend’s place. But this is too much.

“Fai still wants to do what you want. But can you give freedom to others?”

“….” Fai gasped and couldn't speak, and only held his best friend's hand.

“We were born for who we are, that's what I thought when I decided to leave the house. And you have agreed with my decision.”

“She agrees because she loves you. Look at how a woman gives in to her boyfriend because she loves you.”

“So do you think, I don't love Bella?”

“You still dare to ask? doesn't it obvious? Bella is lonely. Do you know a lot of men who try to talk to her, but Bella does not respond even though they have a better future than you.”

“Is that true Bella?” Thee asked with a pounding heart. Contrary to what it seemed, he thought Bella would understand the situation, but it wasn't like that.

“Bella is lonely, Bella wants to be with Thee but you always play games, Bella tries to understand but Bella is tired.”

“Thee are sorry.” He sighs heavily seeing his girlfriend's tears. “We often call on the phone at night, but Thee knows everything changes when Thee go to study aboard, because of the time difference. But when Thee came back to Thailand, Thee were serious about making it work for us. Call every day, go out when Bella wants to. But Bella is always annoyed to hear the sound of the keyboard saying it's very annoying, and says she will hang up and do something else, what should Thee do when Bella is annoyed by the sound from Thee's work which is a source of money for Thee and also buys a brand bag for Bella’s gifts.”

The girl lowered her eyesight, many feelings began to rise and they seemed to explode. She understood what Thee had to say, but the accumulation of hurt was greater. Until the other thought shouted, ‘If he really love you, shouldn’t he choose you over the games?’

“There is no car to drive, isn’t it embarrassed to have Bella pick you up every time you guys going out? Or games you play that make so little money so you can’t buy a car?”

“Look Fai, if it's a car problem, I have that stupid car parked at damned home, if I want to use it I have to go back home and meet my father. I wasn't ready to meet my parents yet so I thought it was okay to take a taxi. Is that a problem for you?”

“Oh Thee that's a problem.”

“Fai, calm down. We'll talk again later.”

Both of them met their eyes with no one else to accept, before Bella whispered something and Fai let it go, the three of them endured in a problematic moment. Thee then led Bella to walk away without anyone saying anything.

The atmosphere in the car was silent, it was different from the thoughts of the two who were shouting out to meet the awkwardness that was pack inside. Bella was on the seat belt, the young women didn’t even look at the person next to her as she was deeply angry with Thee who broken her face by scolding her friend. Fai just wishes Bella’s happiness. Why should Thee invite a fight?

“Thee should be little calmer. And knows how Fai is like.”

“So, Bella know how Thee is?” The young man chooses to look at the street rather than girdle the answer from his lover’s mouth. “Could you explain to Thee what happened? Before Bella when out, didn’t we still have a good conversation?”

The person being asked did not give an answer, because she knew it was stupid to tell, but deeply wanted to say it. In case the current atmosphere will improve a bit, “Bell is jealous of Thee’s friend.”

“Huh?”

“Namfon is getting married as for Fai, she will going to England to meet her boyfriend. Everyone has future, Thee. But Bella had nothing.”

“Even though Fai is not married yet, what made Bella think so?”

“….”

“Okay I understand, do not cry. Thee are sorry.” The young man reached out and stroked her head to comfort. The reason for the women was virtually unreachable. “The social sensitivity to it. Perhaps if you play less with Facebook and Instagram, Bella will not feeling that way. Like we are seeing other people in a trip abroad, seeing other people live a good life, in can make us unwittingly compare ourselves to others. In fact there’s no reason for Bella to be jealous of someone else. Bella is beautiful, got a warm family and then there’s Thee.”

“Is there Thee who prefer Bella over games? Bella isn't looking for trouble, but Bella wants to know.”

“Bella think about it. Thee didn't always play games. We always talk when Thee isn't working.”

“Oh yeah right, you call games as work.”

“Thee have money from it, Bella.” He paused and looked at Bella, “We can't be together until we get married. Bella knows that.”

Because Bella's parents didn't allow them to stay at their house or in Thee's condo, so spending time together until morning was a very rare opportunity.

“Nothing can change Thee's mind, right?” Bella looks disappointed at her boyfriend. She was too tired to understand. “If the whole country can work out the game, then there’s no poor. The kids who didn’t finish school. No future, it’s a low salary employee losing people because of the game.”

“We will talk tomorrow. I’ll come to you in the morning.”

“Why don't we talk now. Because there were so many things Bella wanted to say right now.”

“I want to talk to Bella when Bella is not in this state.” Thee tapped the steering wheel with his finger while driving. “Thee don't want to fight over the same problem, please.”

“Yes, because Bella will always be like this, while Thee will have fun playing games.”

“Okay, so the problem is because Thee is playing a game? If Thee closed the Channel, stopped playing games for the rest of life and went back to the gold shop, Bella would be happy, wouldn't she?”

She couldn't answer it, he felt like he was really bad to justify it. But to keep him motivated playing games is not what Bella wanted. Bella looks at Thee who look disappointed and sad because they always fight over the same problem.

“Did it make Bella feel as comfortable as smashing the keyboard?”

The image of it made Bella feel guilty. In the midst of their fight, Bella could not hold back her anger and unconsciously broke several things, Thee just stood still and did not try to stop her. He only saw the rest of the scattered keyboard keys before meeting his eyes with a gaze never seen before. But after realizing, she hurriedly apologized and looked for the same keyboard that her boyfriend was using, maybe the price was not expensive, but it was enough to make Thee shut himself down for a few days instead of having a new keyboard. And when Thee unwrapped it, he smiled and said ‘Thanks Bella’

“Bella is sorry,” maybe these words are meaningless anymore because they are used carelessly. Thee parked Bella's car in front of the house and turned off the engine. Bella is happy that he's still here, “Bella just saw no future in this career. A lot of people say it's going well, but in our country it is still underdeveloped, and adults see games as belonging to children. Besides that Thee may be very famous now, and has a lot of followers, but when Thee gets older, fans might look for younger gamer.”

“The gaming industry is not just this, Bella. Thee can go to other game related jobs. Because what Thee wants is not just to be an E-Sport athlete, but to live with what I loves until old. Thee want to be a part that drives the gaming industry further.”

“What if it doesn’t work? Will Thee’s life end up like P’Tap who has to watch the shop every day for a few thousand dollars a day? Eat rice on the computer until you don’t take a care of yourself. How happy is that like that?”

“How is it bad to be like P’Tap? At least there is wife who understand and ready to support everything. Have a baby that is going to be born and parents would support everything, just as you like it life is so happy, what else do you hope?”

“….”

“The happiness of each life is different, Bella. Some of the might be married to someone, but that’s not all for sure. Some people might want to be with a dog. Some people choose to travel with friend. Some people just want eat delicious food every day, some people love to playing game.”

“The last one is about Thee, right?”

“Bella.” Thee turned to look his girlfriend again. He tried not getting angry, because Bella mention P’Tap without understanding everything, everyone has their way to life, different line of work and ways of living. Therefore insulting P’Tap with words is hurting him badly. “Have you ever asked yourself why you want to get married?”

“….”

“Is it because you want build a family together with me, or because you are embarrassed by your friend. Can you tell me?”

Like being cut with knife, the young girl felt blatantly guilty, she didn't want to admit that the last sentence of Thee's question was true, her friends always brag about their lives when they met, Bella just sat quietly there and was taunted by a friend he had a boyfriend and she will run out of the future.

“It’s because Bella wants to have family…”

“Really?”

“Thee looked like that, will you find out if Bella lied?”

“No, just asking. Thee better going. Tomorrow I’ll buy your favorite pork’s leg.” He opened the car door to get out, but was stopped by another person.

“If you go, we will break up.”

“…..”

“Bella was curious as well if it’s time to make choice, Will Bella more important than game that Thee’s loved?” the women was in tears, looked at those eyes that were coldly looking as if fed up with what she was.

“Let’s talk tomorrow.”

“No, Bella want the answer now/”

“Bella.”

“Give me the answer now.” It’s like puke that you can’t hold anymore. Bella continue to express herself that she know the other person won’t like it, but the influence of alcohol make her unable to hold herself back.

“Since dating until today, when we have given up on our feelings over and over again because the same thing, it never ends. It only gets harder and harder to feel the feeling that’s like there’s no way out.”

“…..”

“Bella…” Thee sighed, “If being gamer doesn’t make Bella comfortable, If Thee always make Bella cry and angry. Shouldn’t we stop?”

“…”

“Thee is a badass. Bella can curse through Facebook or telling everyone how bad Thee is, Thee will not do anything. Even if Bella want curse Thee via phone, Thee won’t change my number until you satisfied.” The young man makes eye contact with the young women he loves so bad, he feels empty and wants to sit still, but whatever he should say, he should finish it. “Let’s break up.”

“….”

“We are both tired of trying to make it right.”

*****

The young boy put the porridge in front of computer desk and turns it on and the screens are so bright that the computer’s system is so fast that you don’t have to wait. Soh quickly inserted the password into LINE. The other hand scoops the porridge into his mouth before flinching from the heat.

Derya MK12 : Is P’Thee with P’Bella?

Derya MK 12 : Soh wasn't to tell P'Thee to hurry. Actually P’Thee doesn't need to be here

Derya MK12 : But, Soh has a nightmare

Derya MK12 : Soh dreamed that P’Thee was hit by car. That’s so scary.

Derya MK12 : If P’Thee still awake, please reply this message, Soh is really worried.

Derya MK12 : Soh's condition is getting better because of the medicine and food that P'Thee gave. Soh now sits at the computer to study, after which he will go to sleep.

Derya MK12 : It's raining hard outside, if P'Thee is still outside, don't get caught in the rain, if it's up to the condo go take a shower so you can rest

Derya MK12 : P'Thee take care of your health, if P'Thee is sick like Soh, you won't be cool anymore.

Sitting at the long LINE of green speech balloons, he couldn’t deny that he’s waiting for these messages to be read. Soh sighed as he held the spoon in thought. Why do you worry about P’Thee this much? Is because the nightmare too realistic?

Even though P’Thee is now with P’Bella maybe stuck together or whatever that dream would never come true. Perhaps Soh was too delusional. But P’Thee can you answer the LINE? Just one word is fine or else I will be worried until I can’t sleep.

What should I do? Should I pray? It was raining and the road will be slippery. It is so dangerous for night traveler. Okay he will finish eating the porridge and go pray for the holy thing to protect P’Thee

Let’s not let anything bad happen to his beloved brother.

*****

The rain still heavy and there was no sign of stopping, the main road was very busy with cars passing by even though it was almost dawn. The young man was soaked in rain and decided to sit at the bus stop without moving.

His empty eyes stared at the ground, many questions in his head that couldn't even be answered by himself. His heart screamed that it was tiring now replaced by emptiness.

The emptiness he felt the most was that he realized that Bella was gone tomorrow. It was a reality Thee had to accept.

Water droplets fell from his forehead to his chin, the young man was soaked in pain and only emptiness he felt.

‘Where should i go?’ that's what he asked himself. Thee got no answer so he sat there stupid like a desperate person might be a good choice.

The sound of a car passing over and also message notifications sound from his phone, but he didn't pay attention. He chose not to open the message.

He had let…let everything go the way it’s been for a long time.