we collaborate on this one xx. hope you like it <3
the upstairs neighbor is asking you if u want some of the brownies he made. he swears they don't have weed in them. you're not too sure. he then falls down the stairs.
"i fell for u 😁"
he then says his ead hurt and he needs to go into ur apartment
you allow this strange man to come in your apartment. you try not to stare at his flat ass in the leather pants. he plops himself on your couch as you look for tylenol.
you can't find any tylenol so u turn around to tell him but HES GONE! u decide to look for him around the apartment and he's asleep in ur bed.
"what the fuck!" you say. he's still wearing the leather pants. who even sleeps in those?! he then turns around and looks at u "why don't u join me 😁."
you say "no wtf" and he grabs ur arm and says "maybe i would like u better if u took off ur clothes 😉."
you slap his arm away and he looks at u with puppy dog eyes. fuck dem things are cute asf. you give in and climb in bed with him.
right when you're about get REAL steamy he says "the leather pants stay on during smex" and you're really confused how that'd even work?? but then he pulls out the strap.
"you're gonna put that on over your pants instead of using ur weewee directly????? are u dumb" he stares at u for a long second before cracking a smile. "did you just say weewee?"
you start laughing out of embarrassment and matty starts laughing with you and then BAM ur bedroom door slams open and george is standing there like 🧍🏻.
"wot tha fock mate!" matty yells. george is still standing there like 🧍🏻 before sprinting at the bed at abnormally fast speeds. matty pushes u off the bed and then george goes straight thru the bed and the wall.
your apartment is on a 3 story building, so george just goes SPLAT on the ground, meanwhile matty is on top of you from pushing you so hard, and the sexual tension is building. "oopsies" u say "sorry" he gets off you and it's getting awkward, you have nothing to say but then OMG you look at the spot where ur bed used to be and find a single tylenol tablet on the floor and hand it to matty.
"for your head, or whatever." you say tucking ur hair behind your ear. you ignore the groaning from george. it's so loud because he's really broken everything. you're surprised he's still alive.
"thank you," he says "i'm gonna give this to george lol. come up for some brownies WITHOUT WEED later 😉"
the end xx.
rip george 🪦
