"I don't know mate. I really don't." George sighs into the phone, messing with the hem of his t-shirt.
"Well..have you tried speaking to him about it?" James queries, raising an eyebrow.
"No of course not. He's my best mat-"
"You need to talk to him George."
"I can't."
"Yes you ca-"
"No-I physically can't!" He takes a deep breath,
"If I tell him how I feel, he'll either laugh in my face or think I'm joking." George sniffs a little,
"I can already see it. Everything will become really awkward and he'll start to distance himself more and more before eventually moving out."
James rolls his eyes in disbelief,
"Do you seriously think he'd do that to you?"
He shrugs, "..no?"
"George?"
He turns his head, watching as James sits up on the FaceTime call.
"Alex loves you okay? Even if he doesn't feel the same way, he's never going to make you feel awkward about it."
George scrunches his face up at this, "bu-"
"He'll always be your best friend."
George ponders for a second,
"That's another problem..wha- what if he cares too much about our friendship?"
"What if he worries about losing me..so he lies, saying he likes me too..when he doesn't."
James lowers his tone, "why the hell would he do that George?!
Like come on..where would that get him? Ah yes, a broken best mate and a friendship damaged beyond repair..mhm..sounds right up his street."
He rolls his eyes again, "you're an idiot if you think he'd ever want to put you through that.
He cares about you more than you know..and he would want you to tell him."
"You really thi-"
"He's my mate too George. I know he would."
"It's just..it's scary-yanno? I mean sure..I get that we're a bit more touchy feely than your average best friends..but that's just because we're comfortable around each other. We live together for Christ's sake!"
"Hm. What about the things you've done in the past?..Do you genuinely think they mean nothing to him?"
"I-uh. James we were drunk pretty much every time..and even when we weren't-it didn't mean anything! Not to him at least-"
"Right sure. 'Didn't mean anything.' Not a string attached.
Understandable of course, deeming your 'oh so subtle' feelings.
It was purely tomfoolery-a never ending infatuation if you will..just two guys..in the same bed-yet again-having fun..because those exist..yes." He flashes a sarcastic thumbs up.
"What's that supposed to mean?" George chucks his phone down on the bed.
"Nothing.. nothing. Just that maybe you guys like to let on that you drank a lot more than you actually did-and maybe-just maybe-you're both completely aware of this..but you prefer to lie to yourselves, and each other..because it's easier..and much less confusing."
George flips him off so James shrugs his shoulders,
"Just a hunch though..of course.."
"He doesn't want anything more, alright?"
"You'll never know until you ask.."
George inhales once again, his thoughts now tangled.
His heart's pounding against his chest and James continues insisting that he talks to Alex.
"JAMES IT'S NOT THAT EASY, OKAY?" He snaps, letting his head fall further into his palms.
A single tear makes its way down his cheek but he quickly wipes it away.
He's starting to sweat, his brain feels like it's melting and he can't keep still, unable to pick up on any background noise.
His head is spinning and he feels slightly sick. It's too much-all he wants to do is shower-to sit there and let the water engulf him, settling his manic mind.
But he knows he can't, not right now..so he tries to distract himself, occupying his hands with the Lego on his desk.
However in doing this, he fails to recognise James' voice, repeatedly calling out to him through the speaker.
George's mind is clouded, his vision blurred, focusing on nothing but the Lego brick.
All noises are locked away in this moment-not his responsibility-they merely belong to the surroundings.
Unfortunately, this includes the one of the person edging closer to his bedroom.
He shakes his head before wiping his brow, gaining the strength to speak again,
"Have you ever had to tell your best friend that you're in love with them?!" George defends, a little too loud.
