That Time the USA Got Transported to Another World!

Chapter 3: The First Battle

King Wilkie—alongside 100 magicians in lengthy pink robes that dragged along the mud—and 2,000 knights that sat upon horses elegantly galloping, marched towards the border of the enemy. The general looked at his map: if his calculations were correct, they would arrive at the Gallup River (which encompassed the western border between their kingdom and the Land of Warriors) within the next ten minutes; when they made it, they would proceed to charge directly into the country, and burn any farms they came across. If we take a few civilians as prisoners, the general decided, we could ransom them for a peace deal; the war will end quicker than it started that way. The king had gone above and beyond styling his horse for this battle: it had a tight-fitting, iron-clad suit of armour covering its body, with a red blanket laying over it. The blanket—being made of silk, had four thick, puffy yellow fuzzballs on each corner.

He threw his hand in the air, signalling his men to stop. Once each knight had calmed their horses, and the magicians had all straightened their backs, he said:—

"Remember men: you are not fighting for yourselves, or me, but the glory of the kingdom! You will give it your all; if you die, you will die in glory! And if you live, you shall be rewarded with a plentiful amount of rum and woman." The men let out a fake cheer, all well internally thinking, since when have you given us anything? And why would we fight for ourselves? Nevertheless, they followed their king into battle, running and riding horseback through the sludge and muck. From an outside observer, it truly looked remarkable: men of all shapes and sizes, skills and quirks, standing before a common cause, and facing death in the face; that didn't last long.

Zoom! An odd sound filled everyone's ears: it was a fast sound, like a boat moving through the water; only, there's no way a boat could fit on such a narrow river; come to think of it, they were still a good four minutes away from the river! So, what could have made such a loud noise? Then, they saw it, a bird-shaped contraption flew over them, its black wings soared through the sky with a graceful taunt. From its bottom opened a hatch. A slew of steel ovals with square red tips fell from it. They landed one after the other over the army, obliterating half of the knights in a fiery explosion.

The Magicians cast their spells against the machine, chanting in a foreign language. It was no use, however, as the machine shot tiny (almost invisible) projectiles from its face; within minutes, all the magicians had been turned to corpses on the battlefield.

The general, having trouble calming his horse, said:

"My King, we must turn around. If we don't we will all end up dead, including you. And sir, I can't say for sure, but I think they might have captured the power of a dragon. If that's true, then—"

"Enough of your yapping," the king said. "We've come so far... if we turn back now, what will our foes think? We'll be the laughingstock of the world."

"Your Majesty, you mustn't be so stubborn. We will—" he said; those words were the last words he ever uttered; not a moment later, the projectiles hit him, turning his body into a gory mess. The stench of burning meat filled the king's nose as he watched the world burn before his eyes, the fire melting the dirty landscape like ice, and the corpses transforming into ash.

He got off his horse and ran faster than he ever had. Why? Because (in his mind) going home empty-handed would mean dishonouring his people. That mindset got him killed; a huge gust of fire encircled him, before erupting into a huge explosion that took off his legs; bleeding to death, he looked up one last time: the river stood right in front of him. Behind it was a long pole with the striped-star flag that belonged to the enemy; the Land of Warriors was just in reach; but, as he reached out his hand, his eyes shut forever.